Anyone who knows my little girl, also knows her fascination with boys at a very early age. She was madly in love with Spiderman, Jack the pumpkin king, and her big brother’s best friend. This probably all started at the age of 2. It was very scary to think about how things would be in her teen years.
However, by the age of 10 I noticed something, while she still liked boys.. she no longer talked to them. She suddenly got very shy. This was so unlike her younger days where she would suddenly blurt out to a friend “tell your brother I think he is cute!!” causing the poor older brother to suddenly get embarrassed. She did have a secret crush on a boy.. it was the secret part that was shocking. She did not talk to the boy (except for the first meeting) or even make eye contact with him, even to this day.
We all know the day will come when a boy will be interested. My girl is now 13 years old and spends her Saturday’s at the Roller Rink. We only live across the street so she goes there for skate class and then hangs around for open skate for a few hours.. sometimes we hang around also.. sometimes she is alone there. She has made some friends who are regulars. It’s pretty low key on Saturday mornings with a sprinkling of birthday parties throughout the morning.
This past Saturday, Anna went back to her table to find a note. It gave a cell number and said.. Text me. I was sitting in front of you. On the back of the note it said.. BTW, you are really pretty.
I have not heard the end of it since. Oh my. She was really nervous going to daddy to show him the note. She was really really hoping we would allow her to text him. She had already done research online and discovered his facebook account. She so takes after her Momma. She showed it to me and I did a quick scan.. Didn’t want to be too invasive but did want to make sure this boy knew how to carry on a conversation without inappropriate language or pictures. He seemed to be a very nice boy from what I could see.
Hubby and I were somewhat prepared for this and set some serious ground rules. Some interestingly enough, Anna had even said before we did.
1. No erasing text messages. We still have total access to the phone and any sign of erased messages will be noted as suspicious activity and phone will be taken away.
2. No inappropriate language, no talks about sex or drugs.
3. No leaving the rink at any time without parents with you. Not even for a minute or two.
4. Friends only!
So of course, she texted him right away and then waited a painful 2.5 hours before receiving a text, which informed her that he was losing his phone for 3 days but to stay pretty. I could just imagine the scenario on the other side. Perhaps the boy begging to at least let him text her quick so she won’t think he was ignoring her.. or something to that affect.
All of this got me thinking. In the Christian world, this can be very controversial. I know many people who would not allow their girls to talk to boys at all. When I think back to my teen years.. I didn’t even know how to talk to a boy. I was terrified of them! I want my daughter to be able to talk with boys but have boundaries. Not be guy crazy or feel that she has to have a boy in her life.. but at the same time.. be able to know boys in general so that she will know which one is best for her kind of thing, and I don’t think that should happen through dating them, However by being friends with them. I want her to one day marry her best friend.
I don’t know if we are handling this the best way. I pray that the Lord will lead us as we go along. I wonder how others would handle something like this. Maybe someone would like to share. There will be no judgment whatsoever. I know a lot of how we handle things in life is due to how we ourselves view our own lives and our upbringing.
I do know one thing. Today marks the 3rd day since my girl received that text. She will be glued to her phone for sure.