Welcome to My Life

Back from some much needed rest..

2012-01-09T06:43:00.001-05:00

I kinda took a vacation from my Christmas Vacation. Every Vacation I love to take my nieces for the week. It is a wonderful time of girls and chaos but I love it. This year I ended up sick just before New Year’s but I just couldn’t stop moving. I continued to stay up past midnight playing games with them. We taught the girls how to play Risk. The following day my niece, Jade, exclaimed she was ready to try it again. This time she conquered the world. We will be ready for a re-match in February!

So many things has happened that I would love to blog about, however, today is about getting back on track. Dance starts up tonight, full on school today, and so much more. I spent all day yesterday cleaning. Just getting everything back in order. I had been lazy all week. I am ready for a structured day and glad to say the house is still clean.

My daughter received an Ipod for Christmas. She has been thrilled. She is not going to be happy to put it down for school work today.. she has been attached to it for the past two weeks. Last night she even made up a song for her Ipod.

A look back at 2011

2012-01-01T09:51:00.001-05:00

This has been a really hard year. I am not gonna lie. We have been faced with many challenges from Angel’s liver transplant to watching our home appliances fall apart. The latest was just last week. We already did not have a working oven but this week, while the girls are here, the stove top shorted out when Angel tried to see what he could do about the oven. With the nieces here we needed to cook with something so he ran out to purchase a double burner and a griddle. Cooking since has been interesting. I quickly learned that I can not just pour 8 scrambled eggs onto the griddle.. there is a drainage and those eggs go down it really fast. What a mess!! However, it is great for making large batches of pancakes or sausages!

We ended 2011 with a huge party pizza and cookies that I made in a little toaster oven. The cookies took a lot of time since I could only fit 6 at a time. I made myself some spicy chicken, wrapped in rice wrap and baked.. then dipped in a mix of mayo and hot sauce. It was yummy. Top that of with some flourless pb cookies and all was good. However, I am sick. That isn’t a fun way to start the New Year. I am not sure if it is just a cold that feels like allergies or if I got some dairy in my food accidently. The evening before the symptoms started we had tacos.. I gave the girls tips on how to keep the contaminated stuff away from the clean items I could eat but who knows.

Although the year has been hard.. we have had many blessings throughout. Angel is alive! That is a huge one for me. I was able to spend the week with my beautiful nieces. That is something I always cherish no matter how chaotic it gets. Even though we were not able to buy Christmas gifts, a friend from another state basically adopted my daughter and grandson for Christmas. Anna has been getting little things in the mail and a huge box came in the other day full of things. This same person has also ordered us a stove. I am just stunned.

I remember ending 2010 so ready to move on. November 2010 was a horrible month with my grams death then almost losing Angel the next day. I was so ready to put all that behind me. Didn’t think I could handle any more than what we had that month. I was so wrong. 2011 proved to be a huge challenge but the Lord never left our side. Anna was forced to be separate from us for two months and just handled it so well. It has been an amazing year. I am so thankful for my family and friends but most importantly for the Lord who carries us through.

I enter 2012 not as naïve as 2011. I know we will still be faced with challenges. However, I have more faith that we will get through those challenges with the Lord by our side. I believe we are stronger because of those challenges. I think I am ready to see what 2012 holds for us.

Simon Flash

2011-12-07T17:07:00.001-05:00

Our family loves board games. Every school vacation my nieces come and spend a week with us. We play lots of games together. We love all kinds of games from board games to card games. Lately, my grandson has also been really into learning new games. Just last week we taught him how to play Monopoly Junior. This game used to be his daddy’s game when he was just a little boy.

Robyn over at robynsonlineworld has just reviewed Simon Flash and has a giveaway on her blog. Go check it out! I know this is a game that we would love to play.

Anna’s First Dance Performances of the year

2011-12-06T16:51:00.001-05:00

It has been a really crazy weekend. On Friday night Anna had dance rehearsal to start off the busy year. My plan was to go shopping but honestly I was having way too much fun watching the girls. Ethan was having fun snapping pics on his Nintendo DS before he got completely bored. When Anna finally got up to dance, Ethan shouted loudly, “Hi Anna!” Of course everyone laughed.

Saturday was performance day. I am always a mess before these things.

“Do you have your shoes?”

“Put the tights on with tan first, then pink, then trouser socks.”

“We need to do your bun.”

“What’s taking so long?”

“You only have 1 tights on!”

“Come on! I need to do your bun!”

“We are running out of time, Anna”

“Are the tights on correctly? Tan, pink then socks?”

Finally get in the van

“You have all your shoes right?”

“Tights are on in the right order right?”

Yes, I am a maniac. At the second nursing home I was starting up again as she was changing. I asked her if she wanted me to leave.. she nodded yes. Oh the poor girl! She did an awesome job, though. I don’t think I ruined her….yet. She was totally embarrassed in one of the dances. Her top came down exposing her camisole but we told her.. That is what the camisoles are for. One of the ladies made her feel better with a few dancer stories to share.

This is my favorite dance. It was called Frames.

After the dances, the girls go around and meet the residents of the nursing homes.

The lady in this picture was asking Anna about school. Anna’s response, “I don’t go to school.” Long pause “I am homeschooled” I can just imagine what the lady must have been thinking during that pause.

I was reading her lips as she was talking to another lady. She said “I have been dancing for 5 years, I don’t need to practice”

I loved it when she told me that one lady said she was dancer for 11 years. She told Anna that she should never quit, even if it kills her. LOL!

Hanging out after the final Saturday performance.

On Sunday, Anna got to do it all over again. After the nursing home, the girls headed off to another place to sing Carols and give gifts. I just loved watching the faces of the residents as the girls danced. One lady was all into it, just singing and dancing along. At the place where they sang carols, there was one guy in the back they just sang along with them.. every single song. Never missed a beat. I am so glad these girls can just brighten up someone’s day like that.

Finally we dropped Anna off at the teachers home with a big crock of sloppy joes for a holiday party. Only dancers allowed. Angel and I headed over to Burger King and just sat there reading and talking til it was time to pick her up. We would have preferred going someplace else for steak but finances just don’t allow it these days. We are just glad Anna had a great time!

Black Friday Mingle

2011-12-05T22:31:00.001-05:00

1. Did you do Black Friday or Cyber Monday shopping? Tell us about it!
2. Have you finished most of your holiday shopping?
3. Does your family have any holiday traditions?

Military Spouse?

2011-12-01T21:00:00.000-05:00

If you just came over here from Trooppetrie's Blog, you may be a bit confused. No I am not currently a military spouse but I was for a short while. My husband served his 20 years in the military. He was active for 4 years, then continued in the Army Reserves. When I met Angel in 1994, he was coming into RI, once a month to stay with his brother on the weekends he had drill. We were married in 1999 and he retired in 2005. I do remember just before he retired, there was a concerned that his unit could be deployed. I remember being really nervous and now knowing how I could manage without him. I have a lot of admiration and respect for military families. I have often wondered what would have happened if Angel had continued in the service. He has often wished he was still active. For those military families who have come through the link on the blog above, I want to say Thank you! Thank you for all you do, and the sacrifices you make for the rest of us.

Thanksgiving Mingle

2011-11-28T22:20:00.001-05:00

1. What did you and your family do for Thanksgiving?

2. What is your favorite way to use Thanksgiving leftovers

3. Fill in the blank: “I really wish I hadn’t eaten so much _______________ on Thanksgiving.

Random Thoughts

2011-11-28T11:25:00.001-05:00

I am just a jumble of thoughts today. So here it goes..

Angel’s IV filter removal went really well!
We had a week off with dance, which was really nice.
We spent Thanksgiving at my mom’s.
Mainly because our oven doesn’t really work
I called her the day before to remind her how to keep the turkey gluten free.
The day of Thanksgiving she wasn’t thinking and stuffed the turkey
with regular stuffing
so I couldn’t eat the turkey
or the gravy..
I survived though. Even after I helped her debone the turkey and put it away
Had a great time with the family too!
I missed Jade terribly!
She is growing too fast!
We had fun with Mike’s jokes.
Lots of laughter all around.
Friday we got a few deals later in the day.
We had a friend of Anna’s stay over from Friday til yesterday.
Also had to pick up ballet shoes for Anna
30.00!!
I detest the need for money!
Right now I keep getting cyber Monday emails..
I can’t look.. still costs money..
This is what we spotted on our outing..
I want that dog!
We did have a great weekend though!
More laughter
Especially when Anna was over tired and freaking out at the kitten
Wish I had taken a video!
She was standing on the couch crying.. the kitten was on the floor stalking her.. Kitten jumped on couch, she screamed loud. Kitten freaked and ran to the basement.
We could not stop laughing! Poor Anna.
About 5 min later kitten tried to come back. Anna was calming down on my lap.
Kitten comes up looking skittish.. Anna spots her looking at her and screams again
kitten runs back down
poor kitten..
It was obviously time for bed!
I tried to buy a turkey
It was almost 3.00 a pound.
went for a chicken instead.
Angel put a rock under our heating element to keep it in place
seemed to work, oven stayed on
chicken was great. Not turkey but still great.
Today is Monday…
which means back to school and dance.
Always a lot of cleaning to be done after a lazy weekend too.
Off to work I go…
Happy Monday!
I leave you with one more picture..

October Happenings… It’s been crazy!

2011-11-14T14:06:00.001-05:00

I don’t think I have done a single update on Angel in quite a while. The last two months have been rather busy. I decided to do a brief outline of all the happenings in October. I apparently forgot how busy it really was! So thankful it ended on a happy note!

Wed, October 5th – Buried Gram. Realized something was wrong with van.

Thurs, October 6th – Canceled doc appt due to van issues

Fri, October 7th – Received a call from hospital... They don't like his liver numbers and want him to go to the hospital Monday for a liver ultrasound.

Sat, October 8th – took van in to get checked on. Angel had to walk to and from Anna’s dance studio and they sat there all day. 2200.00 to repair. Had to get bare minimums done since we didn’t have it. So roughly 1200.00.

Sun, Oct 9th – Birthday party at neighbors for their one year old. So cute! Think the deviled eggs I thought was safe, had dairy.

Mon, Oct 10th – Went to hospital for an ultrasound. They didn’t get back to us til we had no choice but to leave to get to Anna’s dance. On the road they called and told us it looked like his vein had gotten narrow and they needed to do a procedure to widen it. They told him to be in Glastonbury the next morning. When I looked up the procedure, it looked like a complicated thing that required a driver. I totally over reacted and we had a bad night.

Tues, Oct 11th – I stayed home while Angel and David went to procedure. He was at the wrong place. Turned out they only did a cat scan to see the vein better. Whew!

Wed, October 12th – I went to audiologist appointment. Had another hearing test done and found out my hearing is getting significantly worse.

Thurs, October 13th,

Angel went for his doctor's appointment today. The blood seems to be flowing fine. However they can't see the vein properly because of the clips that are in his body from surgery. They still don't like the numbers so they want to do a liver biopsy to make sure there is no rejection going on. As for the vein, apparently during the transplant they had to graft the vein together and now it looks like there is possible shrinkage. They want to get a closer look with another procedure. Both procedures can be done as an outpatient however, because he is on Coumadin, he would bleed out. So they want to admit him in the hospital for 4 days to control the Coumadin, and then get him back on after the procedure.

Angel told them this was not possible with work. So they decided another method. They are mailing him a package that will have filled needles. He will give himself shots for a few days. These shots will keep his blood thin but not have the same affect as the Coumadin. He will then go in for the procedure as an outpatient on either the 26th or the 27th of this month. After the procedure he will continue to do the shots til the Coumadin takes effect again.

Found out Health insurance will not pay for a lot of my bloodwork I had done or the new doctor I am seeing.

Mon, Oct 24th

went the hospital today so they could show him out to give himself a shot before his Liver biopsy and angiogram on Thursday. I asked them about a protruding spot on his stomach. Turns out he has a hernia caused from the incision during surgery. It can be removed maybe next spring unless it starts to cause pain.

Wednesday, Oct 26th

Angel went to his vascular appointment today. They found no blood clots!! They will be taking the IV filter out on November 17th. This is really good news!

Thurs, Oct 27th

Angel’s brother took him to the hospital for the procedures. He was supposed to have the angiogram and the liver biopsy. Due to a problem with taking Coumadin yesterday, they did not want to do the biopsy. After having to lay flat for 6 hours the liver doc came in and tried to do the biopsy through a scar tissue. Failed. Need to reschedule.

Thursday, November 10th,

We received incredible news. The plans for a liver biopsy was cancelled. His numbers are the best they have ever been! He will continue to have the IV Filter removed on Thursday. Thank you so much for all your prayers! It will be a year this month since his cirrhosis was discovered and it has been 6 months since his liver transplant. God is truly amazing!

Friday Fill Ins…

2011-11-11T14:16:00.001-05:00

I decided to check out some memes today.

1. Turkey is __Delicious___.
2. _I want Cherry, peach or apple___ pie.
3. On and on and on we go __Where it ends, nobody knows___.
4. The last time I saw __one of my best friends, was 12 years ago, thankfully we still keep in touch___.
5. Can you believe __Christmas is almost here___.
6. I need a __complete day all to myself___.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to __bedtime, I have no reason to wake up at 6 in the morning___, tomorrow my plans include __taking my daughter to dance and shopping as usual___ and Sunday, I want to __do absolutely nothing___!

Coconut Cookie Dough Oatmeal = Yum!!

2011-11-11T08:57:00.001-05:00

Look at that picture! I found this recipe over at ChocolateCoveredKatie.com. It was delicious. Next time I will added some shredded coconut to the mix. The one thing I am learning through this dietary change, isn’t so much what I can’t eat.. but all the new things I can it!

23 years ago.....

2011-11-10T06:18:00.000-05:00

23 years ago.. I became a mom..

it was the most unbelievable and fantastic journey ever..

not to mention scary.

When I finally got to hold this precious baby..

I was over whelmed with so many emotions..

There was no other feeling that could compare..

I am amazed at how fast time flies..

Wasn't he a cutie?

Being a single mom definitely was interesting..

David was my entire life.. there was nothing I would not have done for him.

Having David in my life has been a huge blessing.

He has taught me so many things through the years.

Happy 23rd Birthday, David! We love you!

Cooking Day

2011-10-16T22:29:00.001-04:00

It’s been a really long time since I have posted. So many things have been going on. It’s been a really tough few weeks and I know I am going to want to post it here. However, not tonight. Tonight I just wanted to share how I spent my day.

I spent most of my day in the kitchen. I made

Hummus from scratch
Brown rice to keep in fridge
Potato Salad
Homemade Tator Tots
Started process to sprout mung beans.
Got Chicken prepared to make rice wraps tomorrow.

It doesn’t look like much but when you are uses dried chickpeas, the process takes a long time. I am wiped. Not to mention all the dishes I had to keep up with. I am proud to say, all dishes have been washed and I am ready for a new day. The tator tots did not go so well. They were falling apart during cooking. I have done about half the batch (although I lost a lot) and the other half is in the freezer in ball form. I think freezing them will make it easier to cook. I don’t think I will be trying this again.

Well now I am off to bed. Tomorrow is a brand new day.

Gluten and Dairy free for a week!

2011-09-26T06:36:00.001-04:00

I made it past the first week. Not without some emotional upsets and frustrations though. I have been more creative with my meals, which is kind of awesome. Last night I attempted to stay up late and do some cleaning. During that time I also decided to update by video. I can’t believe I talked for 10 minutes though. I think I talk a bit too much. hmm…

Anyways, if you are interested in my update.. here it is. Sorry for the video lag.

Rough Night…

2011-09-24T10:52:00.001-04:00

Last night Annaleah had her 2.5 hours of dance classes. Dinner was going to be tough. I decided to make some spring roll wraps filled with spicy chicken salad. As we rushed out the door and started down the road I realized, I had forgotten the wraps at home. We left at 5pm. This meant no eating til 8:30pm.

Angel had already planned to get himself a burger or two at McDonalds. I tried racking my brain to see what I could eat.. hmm.. grill chicken salad should be fine. I know the croutons are in separate little bags.

I get up front and ask the cashier, “Do you put cheese on your salads?”. She responds, “yes we do”.

“Can I have mine without cheese??”

“Our salads are premade”

“Oh, nevermind. Two apple dippers please”

Angel looks at her and says.. “Cancel the order.” and walks out.

I am stunned.. I keep telling him to get himself his burgers. I don’t want him to go hungry.. He refuses and takes me arm as we walk out.. I can just image the people’s reaction behind us.

Angel decides we should just get a salad at ShopRite. I don’t remember there being salad bars there but I am not going to say anything. I did notice they have prepackaged salad (with cheese of course), but no salad bars in sight.

I continue with my shopping.. Could not find Udi bread anywhere (and there have a gluten free section that is three aisles long). Shopping was really difficult. I did end up finding Gluten free bisquick and just decided to get that. Although it was over 5.00 for a tiny box! I also did not find any gluten/dairy free frozen treats there ..

After shopping, Angel mentioned Chinese food. I searched my brain for something I may be allowed to eat. I know I can’t have soy sauce. I decide on an order of boneless ribs praying it is safe for me. So we order.. then pull up to Anna’s dance studio. It is now 7:30. We have about 45 minutes to eat.. However, they did not pack us a fork. So we didn’t get to eat til 8:48pm.

I know things will get easier with time.. Gotta think positive!

A New Journey

2011-09-19T07:07:00.001-04:00

I decided to see a Homeopathic Doctor recently. I have not seen my regular doctor for about 3 years. Just got tired of not being listened to. This doctor was great. She listened to everything I said and decided that bloodwork was the first thing to do. I have had bloodwork before but not like this.

Results came in…

no celiac
liver functioning great!
cholesterol good – although good cholesterol should be raised a bit

very anemic

very low Vit. D – 14 when it should be in the 70’s

calcium a bit low

thyroid a little on the high side

Low folate and B12

Positive for Candida

slight allergy to soybeans and corn

Very allergic to gluten and Dairy!

Seriously?? Allergic to gluten and dairy! This is going to be hard!

Plan of Action:
no wheat or dairy, period
10 times the amount of Vit D for 2 months
b complex vitamins as well as the extra b6 I have
High Iron Diet
MSM to help with bone pain and anti-histamine for my seasonal sickness

After all my mineral are up we will start attacking the candida which can take 4-6 weeks in some cases 3 months.

Sigh…

Homeschool Journal

2011-09-09T16:40:00.002-04:00

I was roaming through a friend’s blog when a post caught my eye. I headed over to the original site and thought I should try it out. I have been so lacking in blogging these days. I can use all the help I need.

In my life this week… we have been busy with recovery from Hurricane Irene and unexpected hospital trips. We lost power for a full week after Irene hit. I fought to save our food in the deep freezer. We pretty must lost everything in the fridge. We have no way to restore these items at the moment. I just checked the freezer today and it is frozen solid on the bottom from the ice bags on top melting during the outage.
As for Angel, his white cells are really low. He had to go in twice for a shot of white blood cells and then his normal appointment on Thursday. A lot of unexpected driving for sure.
My Grandson also started preschool this week and I picked him up yesterday. He was not happy to see me which led to me explaining who I was to the teacher. Just love those little 4 year old mood swings.
In our homeschool this week…we started out slow. Tuesday we took a list of all the subjects and new books. I had Anna help me plan out the day and we looked through each book and introductions. She is a bit behind in the Math program but we decided to do a times table review all week. I believe if she can get this down then it would be much easier to do her division problems. I think it was a productive week. Next week will be a bit more work.
Helpful homeschooling tips or advice to share…is to just stick with it. If you end up behind in an area, don’t fret. This is something I struggle with big time. I am learning to just take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. This is the beauty of homeschooling. We do not have to be on such a strict schedule. This is where we tend to lose the joy of schooling.
I am inspired by…other bloggers who homeschool. They always amaze me with their dedication.
Places we’re going and people we’re seeing…we have not really seen many people this week. Tonight is Annaleah’s first dance class. She had a meeting this week for the dance company she is in now. It is a bit overwhelming but I know she is going to love it. She will learn so much in dance and character building. We are hoping the weather will cooperate this weekend for the Ledyard Fair. We have not been in a while.
My favorite thing this week was…hard to pinpoint. It has been a tough week. I think my favorite thing though was being able to sit and look at Anna’s newletters for US History and Science. Through these lessons I realized that she is alot like me. I was able to help her with some tips for comprehending what she was reading. It brought back a lot of memories from my reading comprehension struggles as a child.
What’s working/not working for us…amazingly, we have been able to just pick up everything and school on the road. On Wednesday, when Angel got the call to head to the hospital asap.. it only took a few minutes to make some photocopies and pack up a folder for the van. Anna did schooling two days in a row in the van and managed to finish it all.
Questions/thoughts I have…are just turning around in my head. It’s chaos in there.
Things I’m working on…organizing things. Everything around me needs organizing and I really not succeeding at this time.
I’m reading…way too many romance novels. Sadly I have not been doing my morning devotions. I really need to get my priorities straight.
I’m cooking…very little right now. With our fridge practically empty and most of our meat gone thanks to Irene, meals have been difficult.
I’m grateful for…life and family. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without my family. I am so grateful that Angel is still here with us.

I’m praying for…those in our area still without power. Also the many others that were affected by hurricane Irene.

A photo, video, link, or quote to share…
Annaleah got her hair stuck in a comb. Somehow she thought it was wise to wrap it???

Thankfully Daddy was able to cut the comb and save the hair!

The Toilet that won’t flush.

2011-08-16T19:02:00.001-04:00

We have been having issues with our toilet for quite some time now. When we got back after our two month stay in the hospital, it was really bad. After getting the situation under control, we had to keep a close eye on it constantly. Imagine, every time you flush you have the plunger in hand, waiting.

I had just checked out FlyLady again for the hundredth time. I saw an email of someone praising the HeyTom Clog Cannon.

After showing it to hubby, he said to order it right away. So I did. Although the site says to expect it in two weeks, we received it a week later. After attempting to use it .. took a few tries.. this pops out of the toilet.

Now I know what the penny is.. but have no clue what the rocks are from. The penny though is really thin. I placed it side by side next to another penny..

No clue what the rocks are.. but for now.. the toilet is flushing.

Bottled juices...

2011-08-11T09:45:00.001-04:00

We are on the road, heading to Hartford for Angel's bi-weekly appointment. We stopped to grab egg sandwiches and juice. I noticed they did not have regular Orange juice. Angel insisted I try on of the mixed juices.

I am not a juice person at all. Aside from orange juice, I drink no juice or koolaide. Not even lemonade. My beverage is iced water, occasionally soda. Milk once in a while but mostly with cereal.

So I try the strawberry berry juice pictured below. Nope. One sip was enough. I think angels peach mango was better but I still wouldn't buy it. Am I the only one that has a problem with bottled juices?

I can’t believe it’s been 12 years!

2011-08-10T15:14:00.001-04:00

Twelve years ago, I walked down the aisle and vowed to spend my life with Angel. Now, I am so grateful that he is still by my side. Thankful the Lord granted us more time together.

We decided we really needed to go out. We went out to eat at Ruby Tuesday. We had not been there in quite some time. The food was pretty good. Sometimes however, I wish we could find some really good hot wings. These were not it.

Angel had lobster tail and steak with onion rings and mashed cauliflower. His dietitian told him he should try some since potatoes are very high in potassium.

I had herb crusted tilapia, asparagus and white cheddar mashed potatoes. I also tried some of the lobster tail since I have never eaten lobster.

It always amazes me when they ask if we want desert. We have only had desert maybe twice in a restaurant. Seriously, we always leave really full!

Next Angel wanted to see Cowboys and Aliens.

Isn’t that romantic? Sigh. However, I will admit.. it was really good and it was even better when Harrison Ford’s grumpy character gave that half smile I love so much. Oh yes, I had a crush on him when I was a kid. I think it is time to introduce Anna to Star Wars. :-)

It was really nice to just spend a nice time alone with Angel for a change. I wish we could do it more often.

Could anything else go wrong???

2011-08-10T10:03:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was just one of those days. It started off when I turned on my computer and it told me there was a problem and started scanning my disk drives. Lovely. After that it was just hours of error messages and window failure. I tried scanning for viruses but the windows errors kept interrupting and it would reboot the entire system. Seriously??

I have been having some problems for awhile now. Whenever I did a search on Google.com.. the links would direct me to ads. I had to stop using google and go to yahoo (not my favorite thing to do). I had done all the scans and there was still an issue. I guess now it is time to completely redo my laptop. Sigh.

I spent the entire day moving over files, pictures, documents, etc. Uninstalling programs. I have no clue where half of those programs even came from! Sometimes the computer would just reboot on it’s own. I just kept on trying. I did not want to lose anything! It was a pain and there were times where I yelled at the machine. Ok, many times. It was a bit frustrating!

Then it was time to make dinner. BBQ chicken sounded really good. Looks good too!

I did all the prep and got that in the oven. After 15 minutes I re-basted and set to cook for 45 minutes. Then I went back to working on the computer. I got up and started the corn.. checked on the chicken and noticed the oven was off. Uh oh.. did I accidently shut it off when I re-basted the chicken?? hmm.. Ok.. late dinner. Restart oven and go back to my computer.

After 45 min I go back (don’t know why I didn’t bother earlier) and once again the oven is off. Seriously!! It is now like 7pm. So I start the grill.. in the rain btw. I am not a good cook when it comes to the grill.. either everything cooks too fast or too slow. well.. I burned the chicken.. whatever, take the skin off, right. As I go to put the chicken on the plate and it slides off.. I try to do some acrobatic type move to catch the chicken in mid-air while screaming “NOOOO!!!!” Well, of course, I missed!

Now I am really ticked during this entire thing. I went and heated some rice and tried to calm myself down. We all sat at the table and I decided to just cut into a chicken to see how it looked.. Red.. in the middle. Of course mom and Anna are like.. we can just eat the outside.. NO! Do not touch the chicken.

We ran to the store and picked up a cooked whole chicken, reheated everything and ate. Last night as we went to bed I asked Angel if he could cook dinner for tonight. Thankfully he said yes.

Catching up….

2011-08-09T18:51:00.002-04:00

I am sitting here playing Pet Shop Monopoly with my mom and Annaleah. They can be insane when playing this game. I figure it may be a good time to do some catching up on here. I am failing miserably at posting regularly. Where should I start??
Homeschooling:
We have been behind in this area due to Angel’s two month hospital stay. We did catch up a bit on Math since I feel it is a very important subject, but that alone was stressing us out. We decided to stop. We will play some math war games to review the times tables. I was mostly stressing because I had no materials for next year. We had missed the convention and I had no clue what I was going to use. Math is easy. We love Math-U-See.
After some serious researching (I just love scouring reviews) I decided to go with Painless Jr. Grammar and Ignite your Writing to go along with our Language Arts Program. Now my other problem was Social and Science. I found some awesome weekly newletters for students. An entire year of Science or Social. The Science covers 96% of our State’s requirements. Anna is going to love this. She will need to cover 8 weeks in division before starting on this years Math book, but we are fine with that. I think this is going to be a good year.
New Dance Year:
This is a recital year for Anna’s Dance Studio. This will be her 3rd recital. I can’t believe this is going to be her 6th year dancing. She is now officially old enough to try out for the Dance Ensemble also. This group dances at nursing homes and various benefits. Last year they got to train with the Rocketts in NYC. This is just a wonderful opportunity for the dancers.

Last Friday, Anna went to audition. She was very nervous! Once we arrived, she would not let go of my arm. One of the older girls came over and asked Anna if she would like to warm up with them. This helped Anna tremendously. She got her shoes and went to join them in the room.

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They actual audition required them to follow along with one of the teachers in Ballet, Tap and Jazz, while the rest of the teachers observed. Anna did not think she did well at all. We would not know how she did til Monday morning.
Angel decided we all needed to go out to eat so we headed to Gus Pizza. I ordered fish and onion rings (instead of chips) which was huge. Anna ordered spaghetti and meatballs and Angel got a hamburger platter.
Saturday Morning, my brother brought my mom in for the week. We were sitting around chatting when Angel’s phone rang. Someone asking for Anna. Turns out it was Miss Maggie. A huge smile spread out on Anna’s face. She made it!!

Been a long time since I have blogged.

2011-07-25T17:16:00.002-04:00

I honestly don’t know where to start. I have been unmotivated to blog since we have gotten home. We have had so many mishaps since arriving home. Thankfully our toilet seems to flush (although we have to be very careful) and we have stopped the leaking in the fridge. Unfortunately that means manually making ice (It’s been almost 10 years since I have had to do that.. LOL). The microwave no longer works. The funny thing is I thought.. hey. don’t need it. But then you have leftover rice and think.. hmm.. how am I going to reheat it? What did I do before the microwave. I think that was like 20 years ago! I can’t remember! sigh.
Since Angel came home after the initial 7 weeks or so in the hospital, he has been back twice. Both times for a fever due to UTI. The second time the bacteria went into his blood. The Transplant team tried to get the Urologist to remove the stints, but the urologist like to wait til after the bacteria is gone, which clearly isn’t going to happen. It took the Infectious Disease doc to get urologist to do the procedure. Since then Angel has been home and doing very well. He is gradually getting stronger. I could not be with him during the last hospital stay and that was torture.
Since then we have had quite a few visitors. First his mom came to stay with us for about 10 days. During that time his brother Abe also visiting with his daughters. There was alot of discussion about helping us with the yard, pool and garage but that hasn’t happened. I guess it is something I will have to do on my own since even David can’t be around much. He also go a visit from his Uncle David, Uncle Peewee and his wife. Then his dad and stepmom came last Friday. It has been really nice to see everyone. Although I have not been motivated to keep the house really clean.
This past weekend we went to see Harry Potter finally. Very good, at the edge of my seat, movie. We also managed to do some shopping at Walmart and emissions test done on the van. Angel says he feels well enough to start grocery shopping. I hope that is true since I really do not want to order peapod anymore. They just don’t have everything we buy and I end up paying more for things or having to miss out. I am not faithful to one store. We also tried ShopRite’s delivery but they charge a bit more than peapod.
The medical bills are a bit over whelming. I have this spreadsheet and we pay a little to each bill. There are over 12. Well this week 3 new bills came in (for the hospital stay in april/may) and one had a bunch more stuff added. So now the total is up 800 more than last month. Pretty frustrating!
I think that is all my rambling mind can think of for now. I am going to start our dinner (pasta and meatballs). I kinda miss alot of the online world and hopefully my motivation with come back soon.
I can’t Thank everyone enough for the the prayers during this time.

Another hospital stay

2011-06-20T15:16:00.000-04:00

So, Thursday night we were in the ER. They moved really quickly because he is a transplant recipient. By the next morning Angel was admitted back onto the transplant floor. It was so sad to have to do this all over again. I enjoyed seeing the familiar faces but really wish we could have stayed at home.

Turns out, Angel had a UTI from the removal of the kidney stones. After 4 days on an antibiotic drip, they decided to send him home. The one thing that bugs me is the ER took a urine sample from the urinal instead of just having Angel use a cup. It takes 36 hours for the cultures and it came back with way too many bacterias. They had to do another sample to pinpoint the exact bacteria they needed to treat.

Probably one of the hardest things this time around was telling Anna Friday morning that she could not come home because we were back at the hospital.

Monday Mingle for June 20th...

2011-06-20T13:58:00.000-04:00

I have not been around for so long. I just had to try and get back in the swing of things with a Monday Mingle. Please excuse the rambling and the audio quality.

1. Have you put away the winter clothes until next year?
2. What is your typical daily summer attire?
3. Finish this sentence… “Why is it that everytime I _________________”.

Going home

2011-06-19T13:10:00.000-04:00

Monday, June 6th was the kidney stone removal. This was a very frustrating day for Angel. First they wanted to upgrade the trach from a 4 back to a 7. They felt since there was a trach there, it should be used instead of intubating him for the surgery. This was painful to watch. The hole had obviously gotten a bit smaller since the downsizing on Friday. Angel was not happy at all.

Angel went down to surgery prep around 3:40ish. By 4pm I was told to go wait in the waiting room on the 5th floor. I asked to just wait in his room but they wanted to reach me in the waiting area. This room stirred up horrifying memories. Surgery was over around 5:30 and I was called to go in and see him at 6:15. He was sitting there awake since 6. He could not talk because the cuff of the trach was inflated. We were told in the ICU to never let anyone inflate the cuff. He would feel like he couldn't breath. Sure enough he felt that. I asked the nurse but she insisted he was ok.

About 6:30 there was an emergency in the recovery room. They told me to head on upstairs and Angel would be up very shortly. So I waited in his room.. and waited .. and waited.. now it is 7:30 and no Angel. I know he is very hungry.. and it is took late for the nurses to order him dinner, so I go to the main desk up here and ask. The receptionist calls downstairs and is told that they are having an emergency but Angel is ok and waiting for transportation. So I decide to go to the cafeteria and get him a wrap since he is going to be starving because he had not eaten in 24 hours.

Finally at about 9pm he is wheeled into the room. He was soo angry and still could not talk. Thankfully Dan was already prepared to removed the trach without downsizing it. Angel was insistent that he wanted it removed. Angel also enjoyed that wrap thoroughly.

Tuesday - we finally left the hospital. After alot of issues with towing the van (not to mention it was a hot day!) we finally made it home. However, my friend Steph ended up with car troubles as she was bringing me home from walmart. As a result, her van was towed the next day from my house. The problem was bad gas! Turns out alot of vehicles were hit and the repairs for her car was 3,000. Almost 2 weeks later and she finally has her car back.

Of course coming home was not as relaxing as it should have been. Now, I wasn't expecting much. I mean my son is 22 and works .. so I didn't expect perfection. He did have a bunch of his stuff in the living room, a sink full of dishes and the floor looked like it had not been swept in about 2 months. The toilet was clogged in the main bathroom, the fridge was leaking so there were water and towels on the kitchen floor and a bunch of towels in piles on the deck. Bubbles cage had not been cleaned in probably 2 months either and the fish only had about half a tank of water.

After at least getting the place comfortable, we ate some pizza and watched a movie. It was nice to finally sleep in our own bed. Although it was very quiet without Anna. She was not going to be able to come home til Friday.

Wednesday, Steph and her husband came over and Steph helped me with the main rooms. Just before the visiting nurse came the living was looking pretty good. The toilet was flushing too. Thursday, the physical therapist came and all was good. After dinner, Angel took a nap. When he woke up he did not feel right so he took his temp. 102.5. Not good at all. I was on the phone with Anna at the time talking about her arrival in the morning. I hung up with her and broke out in tears. We called the doc and thankfully Justine was able to take us back to Hartford Hospital.

Back in the waiting room.

2011-06-06T17:24:00.001-04:00

I have not updated in a while. Things have been great. Right now Angel is having his kidney stones removed. That means I get to wait in the waiting room again. The very same room I was in during the first surgery seven weeks ago. I know it isn't the same but this brings back horrendous memories. I wish the silent tears would stop flowing.

We have been here for six weeks!

2011-06-01T19:37:00.000-04:00

After a really long and boring Memorial Day weekend (no visits either), Tuesday ended up busy. There was a concern about his kidney levels which meant his potassium was really high. They wanted to check his kidney stints just to make sure. They also cut out one of his meds to see if it made a difference. Today we are told the numbers are much better. Whew.

So yesterday started off with an Xray of his kidneys, the he slept most of the morning. he had a rough night the night before. Then afternoon was much busier with his Barium Swallow test, Downsizing of the trach, and he walked about 20 feet to the desk. He did an awesome job! He is now able to eat real food and started off with a burger and orange soda.

Today he walked all the way to the end of the hall and back. I followed with a chair in case he needed to sit but he did not. When he got back to the room, he was actually looking for another place to walk to. Another huge step was he is finally out of the ICU. We are moved back into Bliss 5 which is where we started that Tuesday 6 weeks ago. This is really a good thing. Someone was really suprised that he was bypassing the step down room. This is the room we are supposed to be in. Here he will get more physical therapy and learn about his meds. They will give us a pill box to take home and help us fill it. He will be on alot of meds for sure.

I am going to miss alot of the nurses upstairs. Neal gave a quick hug. Sadly alot of the nurses I love were not there today. So many have been a tremendous blessing to me and Angel as well. Neal, Chris, Rubi, Kim 1, Kim 2, Carol, Lidia, Betty, Ming, Lisa, Jason, Rebecca, Denise, Ashley (pca), Beth, Crystal and more.. I just can't remember all the names. I may not have understand some of the decisions made but everyone put in so much dedication to getting Angel back on his feet. I truly admire them all. Of course there are all the Drs on the floor and the respiratory team. All the smiling, cheering faces. I will truly miss them. We definitely plan on coming back to say hi. We know we will be visiting the transplant team often for checkups.

Today was a really good day. I know we will sleep well tonight.

Sleep...

2011-05-30T06:40:00.001-04:00

Sleep has been very difficult for Angel and I. Especially Angel. I just walked into Angel's room and he is sleeping. Usually is up waiting for me. I decided to sit over in the corner and blog quietly.

I think I slept pretty good last night. I was dozing off at 8pm. Ended up calling Anna at nine. She was at church so I could not call her earlier. She loves to keep me on the phone and sadly I kept falling asleep on her.

Angel might be moved to another floor today (out of ICU). They are also talking about downsizing his trach.

He was just weighed.174lbs which is ten lbs less than when he came in.

Always moving forward...

2011-05-28T22:31:00.000-04:00

Things have been going so well lately. Mornings are so much easier. I no longer get ready with fear that something may have gone wrong at night. I guess you can say there is an extra spring in my step as I leave the hotel at 6am. It is such a relief.

This morning I arrived to discover that Angel was off the ventilator all night He was awake and happy to see me. However, the feeding tube seemed to have stopped working. Not good for Angel at all.

Angel has been getting alot of comments regarding how good he looks. How they are amazed that he is talking. Yesterday, as Dr. Brown and the others were trying to help figure out what Angel could eat that would taste good.. he commented on how happy he was to be having a conversation with Angel. I don't think Angel will ever truly realize how many people have been thinking and praying for him.

A few highlights about today..

no feeding tube (the decided to leave it out and see how he does)
he has to eat, eat, eat.
all his meds are now to be taken by mouth.. He did a good job even though it was gross
the urine catheter has been removed
there is talk that he is moving out of ICU
He is now able to talk to his mom and Anna on the phone in the room.
The vice president shared my blog with Dr. Brown.. (wow!)

I feel like there is more.. but I just can't think of anything. I am kinda falling asleep here. I am just going to say goodnight and hopefully blog tomorrow.

Goodnight...

So many changes

2011-05-28T17:27:00.001-04:00

Wednesday around 11:30pm, Angel called my cell. Of course he couldn't talk but I could hear kissing noises..

Thursday Angel was able to stand again and even walked in place. Just incredible. I am brought to tears each time he does something new. It is just amazing to me how strong and determined he truly is.

The nutritionist added Metamucil to Angel's daily diet. This meant that Jason was going to get it through the feeding tube. No matter how much water Jason used.. there was no way that was going down the tiny tube. Sure enough he got clogged and had to be removed. Thankfully the doc today had Angel suck on a water filled sponge squab. It really helped the tube go down much quicker.

Later, a speech therapist came in. She had him swallow some applesauce to see how he did. He did so well that she decided to do a swallow test later that evening. I was able to stay through it. They put a camera down his nose to see where the food went. It was so interesting to watch. It also was great to hear that he had passed and was now allowed to have thick liquids and grounded/pureed foods.

Friday the physical therapist set a goal for Angel to get up, walk about two steps to the chair, turn and sit down. Angel exceeded their expectations. He did most of the work himself.. and walked forward to the door and back. Rubi was determined that she was going to let him walk again and she did. The speech therapist came up and showed Angel some swallowing exercises he could do on his own. Angel is a bit bored these days and tired with everything he does. Sadly though, he still does not sleep much at night. How could I forget! Today he was able to talk to Anna and his mother on the phone.

embarrassing moment...

2011-05-26T08:35:00.001-04:00

I went downstairs to get my breakfast. Cereal, banana, milk and yogurt. I paid for my meal, grabbed my stuff and started walking towards the napkins.. Yogurt container hit the floor..breaks open and makes a mess. I pick up the big pieces while someone says.. don't worry, I will get someone to clean it up. I grab a few napkins anyways.. Suddenly this team of nurses comes by. They had just had a class. One stands there and yells.. Something spilled!.. Do not walk through here!.. and straddles the mess. The other nurses all grab napkins and start the clean up process while the first one stands guard. OMW.. Totally embarrassing but they are all laughing and being so nice. Turns out the class they got back from was all about how to handle spills. They thanked me for the hands on experience and insisted I get another yogurt free. Way too funny. What a way to start the day.

Huge strides.

2011-05-25T00:25:00.001-04:00

Thankfully Angel was back to himself this morning.

Angel is back off the ventilator.

Angel was able to sit up better than yesterday. He even stood up with help!

The transplant team came in and Angel tearfully thanked them for saving his life.

Just found out the only rehab facilities are in Hartford, New Britain and Wallingford.

Angel said, where he goes, I go. I wish it was that simple.

Angel pulled out his feeding tube.

I got to stay and watch them put it back in. It was horrible. Angel made the nurse move so I could grab his hands.

They had to do X-rays to see if tube is in the right place. It wasn't..so they had to redo and another X-ray. Still waiting on results. It is after midnight and I am tired.

Today's thoughts....

2011-05-24T15:02:00.001-04:00

Monday
Since I am spending more time with Angel, I have a harder time writing a full blog. I am going to use my phone to post random thoughts throughout the day.

This morning Angel was wide awake when I arrived. He doesn't like the night nurse he has had for 3 nights now. He is very irritable.

Angel was able to sit on the side of the bed with the help of 3 physical therapist. Yesterday he was asking me to shut the curtains. When I asked why, he said so I can walk. It was not til he was helped to sit that he realized how weak he really was. They helped him put on socks and he tried to stand.. it was amazing.

Yesterday he had a panic attack when they put him back on the ventilator. He felt he couldn't breathe. After that he fell asleep and started dreaming that he was eating. Or maybe he was hallucinating.

He speaks!

2011-05-22T08:59:00.000-04:00

On Friday, Cesar and Abe came. Abe was dropping Cesar off to spend the weekend here at the hospital. Once again, Angel was in the chair sitting up. However, when they moved him he got a bit anxious and ended up being sedated again. So he was a bit sleepy.

Friday night we ordered Chinese and ate at the hotel. I have to admit, it was nice having someone to chat with.

Yesterday was an exciting day. Angel was able to have the ventilator removed for a little over 2 hours in the morning. They put in a speech valve so he could talk. One of the first things he said was .. "I have a question and I want you to answer." Ok. "What happened to the first liver?" Well this stunned me because I had been careful not to mention it. Turns out he asked the nurse the night before, some questions and she mentioned the first liver didn't work. He must have been going nuts trying to find out why.

Breathing took alot out of him and he tired quickly. Later they put it on again for another two hours and he gave Cesar a hug. That made me cry. Geez. So emotional lately. Last night however, Angel had a really hard time sleeping and wanted me to stay with him. So Cesar went and got some spanish food and I grabbed a sandwich to eat in his room. It was a really long day. I think I crawled into bed around 11pm.

31 Days

2011-05-20T08:23:00.000-04:00

31 Days ago we came here for Angel's liver transplant. I am still in shock. Yesterday Angel was amazing. He was totally himself. Sitting up in a chair for hours. Asking lots of questions. Getting frustrated with me for not understanding questions. stuff like that. I was expecting it to wear off but it never did. He was even got upset when I couldn't read his lips. Poor guy just wants to talk. Hopefully the trach comes out soon.

Letters to Angel - You are keeping me busy....

2011-05-19T08:34:00.001-04:00

I am so exhausted. But it is a good exhaustion. We have been here a month now. Such a long time. On Sunday you were awake most of the day. I stayed with you all morning. You were feisty though. You started to tip your body sideways so you could reach the tube in your nose. Not a good thing to do at all.

I managed to talk to Neal (your nurse) about letting you see Anna. When mom and Mike arrived, I went out to greet them. I called to see if we could go in. Neal came on the phone to tell me that you pulled out your GI tube. So we had to wait longer and when we did go in you were sedated.

We decided to head over to Friendly's and maybe when we got back you would be awake for Anna. Steph arrived and ate with us. She met Mike for the first time and thought he was a trip. We headed back and tried to see you again. This time you looked at us but no real reaction. You were now wearing boxing gloves (so it looked like) to keep your hands off your tube. You were not happy at all. Jade couldn't help but laugh and mom said it looked like you were going to punch me. I decided to stay a bit longer that night. Just to make sure you were ok.

Monday morning you had moved to a new room! You went from the Dark Side over to the Light Side (as Tony from respiratory calls it). Your new room has a window. Unfortunately it is supposed to rain all week but you can't have everything.

You were more awake than usual. Keeping me busy again. The nurses have been letting me stay with you during shift change. You actually get very anxious to see me now. Lidia was trying to talk to me outside your door but you were going crazy trying to get me to go in. You also did very well not pulling out your tubes when I am in the room.

On Tuesday you had Betty for your nurse. She had told you a few days earlier not to be giving her the evil eye. LOL. I really like her. She kept me by your side all day. She also managed to get you into a chair. She is persistent too. You also had your staples removed. I wasn't able to count them all as I was hoping to.

While you have been doing really well, you are also very sleep deprived. You are not sleeping at night at all. Wednesday I walked in and saw Rubi downstairs getting coffee.. She said "Guess who I have!" She then told me she was not letting me or anyone in the room. You had been sleeping since 4am and she won't even let the other nurses in the room. She was really nice about it and did let me at least see you. She had given you something the night before that is apparently for pain but helped you sleep.

When I walked in at 10:30.. It was the real you for maybe 2 hours. You were still tired but you asked the nurse what was in the syringe she was going to give you. You were understanding and answering everything very well. At one point I got teary and you asked me why I was crying.. I said it was good tears. Slowly throughout the day however you got more confused. Around 2 or so.. diarrhea started and every time they turned you, you looked so scared.

Then another nurse came on at 3-4ish. She was very slow. I would say that you needed a bed pan or you needed to be cleaned and it would take forever. I offered to help turn you to the side but nope.. had to be a nurse to do it and it would take her forever to find a nurse. She was so slow that you started to freak from being on your side too long, and the diarrhea was worse each time. The first change she told me I had to leave. I looked at her and said.. Everyone else lets me stay. She didn't argue. She did however feel the need to medicate you 3 times before even starting to change you.

She gave you more adavar, more hadol, every time.. and you just got worse and worse

at 7.. You were so restless and trying to get out of bed every 10 mins. I was calming you, cold cloth everything I could to keep you calm. She looked at me and said I had to leave.. I told her I will be back at 8:30.. I can't leave him like this. She said.. why don't you stay. I have another patient and I can't keep watching him. So I stayed.

I was asking questions. I asked some questions about the possibility of the adavar and hadol making it worse. She ended up getting the doctor on call, who came and talked to me about what I have been noticing. They didn't want to give him what he got the night before because it is for pain and you kept saying you weren't in pain. Well, you shot up again, trying to get up.. and I said .. are you in pain! and you finally shook yes! The Doc was standing right there, so they gave you the meds and I stayed until you fell asleep.

Today you seem calmer and sleepy. I am praying you have a better day.

Letters to Angel - You are awake!

2011-05-14T08:17:00.001-04:00

You have been awake for the past two days now. You are more focused and trying to talk and communicate. I just love seeing your normal facial expressions now. I can't wait to hear your voice again. It is amazing how much I miss hearing you. Every night when I get back to the hotel, I think, who can I call. I immediately want to call you. But then quickly realize I can't do that. I just miss talking with you so much.

You are doing well. Liver and kidneys are working great. Your fever was down until yesterday. No one has a clue what is going on with that. You are now watching tv and smiling at the doctors when they come in. You are also responding much quicker when they ask you a question.

The last time I posted here, I was very frustrated. That day you ended up sleeping all day. That night Laurie Collins called. Such perfect timing. We talked alot about nurses and hospitals. If anyone would understand how I felt, it was her.

However, I must say I did like the nurses from yesterday and the day before. Lisa (who you will also have today) takes the extra time to figure out what you want. When you reached up towards your face, she knew you were itchy and didn't assume you were going to pull out the nose tubes. She laughed when she went to wash your face and you reacted like a cat needing a good scratch under the chin. She marveled at how good you look compared to when you first came in.

Yesterday you had Neal. He would also try and see how you were feeling. He even took the time to ask me what I thought. "What does he look like to you? Does he look like he is in pain?" I told him no.. It looked like you wanted to get up and stretch your back and neck, and even your legs. You look so uncomfortable no matter how many positions they put you in.

Well today is a new day and I am looking forward to sitting with you again. Tomorrow Anna, mom and Mike are coming to see you and visit with me. I am trying to tell myself it is ok if I spend a few hours with them and not by your side tomorrow. Anna misses you so much and is really hoping they will let her in even though she isn't twelve yet.

So frustrating!

2011-05-11T08:14:00.002-04:00

I am extremely agitated today. I will explain why but first I am going to rewind to yesterday.

Morning started off great. I walked in to Angel's room and he was awake. I said to him. "Hi Honey! Do you know where you are?" Well I got the look from Angel that said.. What kind of a stupid question is that?! I had never been so happy to see that look. Sadly, it didn't last long because he started to seem confused again. During shift change, I grabbed lunch and headed back in at 9. Angel was sitting on a special chair. He was sitting there for about an hour and they moved him back to the bed.

I spent all morning trying to be pro-active and prevent irritation on his part. He would make scratching motions with his hands and I would scratch his beard. He would try moving his legs and I would exercise them. It all seemed to help. At one point he started to get really agitated again and I asked him a round of questions. "Are you in pain?" No Response. Then as I wanted him moving his bottom half of his body off the bed like yesterday, I asked.. "Do you need to go to the bathroom?" He nodded his head viciously. I told the respiratory guy and he asked the same.. Angel once again nodded his head. I felt really good that I was right the other day. I was being proactive and it helped alot.

A psychiatrist came to see Angel and Angel smiled at him. They decided to change one of his meds.

Well something happened around 3pm. Angel was sleeping and I noticed that his bp was going up. Suddenly he woke up agitated. Really agitated. I just couldn't calm him at all. I asked all the questions again. No answer. Another nurse came in and gave him some meds. It didn't work. She asked him. "Are you scared?" He nodded viciously. Then he gave this look like he was about to cry. OMW It was just awful. At that time Debbie from the transplant team, came in. She even tried. Finally Rebbecca (a nurse) looked at me and said .. I need to you to leave. So I did. Debbie told me to take a walk with her and she walked me right out of the hospital to sit on the bench. I had no clue I was shaking so bad. I did cry also of course. Debbie talked with me for a long time.

Since Angel was now sedated, there wasn't much to do in the room but read and watch tv.

Steph came last night with new ear buds! So now I can hear a bit better. We had a nice time chatting and she got my mind off things.

Now this morning, I walk in at 6:30 and Angel is awake and watching tv. He still isn't acting completely normal but he is awake. He was following commands. His eyes even followed mine to the clock on the other side of the room. His bp was up and down but Lidia (night nurse) would tell him to calm down and he would nod and try. He was doing awesome.

During shift change, I didn't leave right away because I just didn't want to leave him alone while awake. He started coughing and had saliva all in his mouth. He got very anxious and I called for someone to suction him. When the nurse came with the suction he practically leapt at it. She thought she had it all and walked away but he got really upset and kept pointing to his mouth. I asked if he had more and he nodded. At that point Rebecca and Denise showed up and I told them.. so Denise suctioned him until he was satisfied.. however, they started back up the propofol. I really wish they didn't have to do that. I didn't ask why because technically I wasn't even supposed to be there. He was off the Propofol since midnight and was doing great.

This is so Frustrating!

Just Another Manic Monday...

2011-05-09T21:33:00.000-04:00

Know how I just mentioned that my ear bud has one side that works. Nope. That stopped this morning. Now I have no choice but to wear the oversized one.. which is now killing my ear. I can't even wear it in the right ear. Won't stay in at all.

This morning, I went in to see Angel and he was sleeping. After breakfast I was happy to discover Chris was his nurse of the day (I have a few favorites). Angel was wide away and calm. Even after being suctioned and coughing he was able to calm himself. Etna, the cleaning lady came in and said.. You are looking great and he smiled at her. I big smile. He smiled at Chris too. It was awesome to see.

News from the doc was that his liver was good, kidney numbers were looking great. They were thinking about no sedation and maybe getting him off the ventilator today or tomorrow. The only thing mentioned was that he had blood in his bile tube yesterday and Dr. Swales wanted to take a quick look to make sure nothiing was up.

Somewhere around 11:30 It was time to reposition him a bit. Chris and another nurse did that, then they suctioned him because was coughing, well suddenly he went nuts!! Another nurse and I spent some time holding him down. He was going to fling himself off that bed. They finally had no choice but to sedate him. I just remember looking at the monitor and seeing his blood pressure above 400. Scary stuff!! I do believe I know what got him going and the doctor did ask my thoughts on it. He had made a mess (if you know what I mean) and he looked as if he was trying to fling the bottom half of his body off the mess. The last time I saw him freak like that he had done a mess shortly before also.

Around lunch I decided to go looking for ear buds. No one has them. Chris even gave me some hospital ones and they didn't work, the sound was too low. So I have no choice but to deal with it. Steph texted me that she picked up some ear buds at Walmart and would bring them tomorrow evening. Honestly, what would I do without her. Now I just have to hang in there til tomorrow evening

So due to the events of the day, Angel is having a minor setback. They are going to review tomorrow and decide where to go from there. They did do an endoscopy and found a small tear that is caused from retching or severe coughing. It will heal on it's own.

Well, tomorrow comes quickly and I am falling asleep at the keyboard. Time to go!

Mother's Day

2011-05-09T08:18:00.000-04:00

Mother's Day started and ended with a bang for sure. The stuff in the middle however, was fantastic.

It started when I woke and got into the shower. I forgot to double check the mat when I washed clothes the night before. One leg in the tub, slid all the way to the other side.. and the other leg, out of the tub, slammed into the side of the tub. Oh man, I watched it turn people right in front of my eyes. Toughen up and just move one, a bit slowly but keep going.

I went into Angel's room and he was awake and really focusing on me. You could tell he was still a bit out of it.. but he was awake longer than normal. He squeezed my hand when I asked. It was nice. So I went and had breakfast.

During breakfast, David called .. something about being really sorry, he tried to come to see me today. I assured him it was ok. Then the phone died. His cell needed to be charged.

I went back into the room and discovered it was the same nurse from yesterday. Let's just say she isn't one of the nurses that I prefer. No problem. Angel is still awake so I sit with him for a bit then I am told I need to go so they can wash him.

I come out to the waiting room. I go to sit down and I don't have my glasses on.. I look up and there is the boy that looks like a blurry Ethan standing there. What an awesome surprise!! Justine and Ethan stayed for a bit and it was absolutely wonderful. Then before they left Abraham and Mariah came. Abe and I went in to see Angel. Angel opened his eyes and saw me. Then as he went to close them, he heard Abe's voice. Those eyes got really big and started to search for him. That was wonderful to see. Before Abe and Mariah left. Paula and Melodye came (from church) and stayed with me til 6:30.

It was a wonderful day. Of course the last bang was when my second hearing aid died. Seriously?? It's a really good thing I have my amplifier but problem is only one side of ear buds work. The back up ones I packed are too big and keep falling out of my ears! Not only will hearing be difficult, now I am going to have a bigger issue talking on the telephone. Sigh! If only I understood what He was trying to teach me.

Letters to Angel - Day 18

2011-05-07T08:30:00.000-04:00

Delirious

That is what they tell me you will have for a while. I was doing ok with keeping you calm for a bit, until yesterday. You started off coughing and getting a bit anxious. I stroked your beard and hair for a bit.. but each time you settled you would get more anxious from the last. The nurse was busy so I was alone. Your heart rate was past 130 which is like really bad. Someone finally came in to help. You thrashed your head back and forth so viciously the trach tube came undone and all I hear was a 'whoshhh' sound. They gave you hadol which calms you down but doesn't sedate you. However, you looked uncomfortable and they had to move you. Then they had to suction you. You woke extremely agitated that they finally ended up giving you propofol, which knocks you out.

This was so upsetting that I had to just leave for a few hours. Steph came later and we went to Walmart. You would be proud of me.. I bought sneakers. Although I didn't want to pay alot so they are cheap. The old ones don't seem like they will hold on much longer.

On the ride to Walmart we saw a drug deal happening, someone thrown onto a police car and being cuffed. A few arrests, gangs, almost got sideswept a few times, including in the parking lot. Talk about a vicious town! Poor Steph. I don't think we will be leaving the hospital grounds next time.

Kidney stones.

2011-05-05T10:27:00.001-04:00

Last night the nurse tried to explain what went on during stenting of the right kidney. She got it wrong. The urologist came in and explained. They went to stent the kidney so the stone would not cause a problem. When they put it in dark, murky stuff started to come out. This could be old blood from the first liver transplant or it could be an infection. They decided to check the left side and found the same. They stented that one as well and sent the samples to the lab. The stone is still there. They do not want to mess with that until he is better. They will remove or replace the stent in a month.

Letters to Angel - Moving forward

2011-05-05T08:24:00.000-04:00

First let me say, you scared me yesterday. Around 9:30am, Chris started doing some routine things which included cleaning your mouth. This usually starts your agitation. However, you did great. You let him clean your mouth and even apply chap-stick. You were doing great, til you started coughing. Chris started to suction out your mouth and you ok.. but then you started coughing again. I was trying to settle you a bit but you suddenly gasped and gave me this look of horror. Next think I know you started pushing me away. That was scary. Chris and I tried to calm you but Chris had now choice but to sedate you. Your blood pressure had gone up to 212 and that was freaky.

Yesterday you had a trach done. No more tubes in your mouth. What a huge difference that makes. You were supposed to get a kidney stent. They found a good size kidney stone the other day. However, when they went in they discovered it was 7mm in size. Apparently they removed it and found alot of smaller stones and such so they decided to stent both kidneys. I hope it isn't too painful for you. You have alot of things going on right now.

Lori has been sending you a care gram a day with stories on them. I am loving them and I can't wait to share them with you.

Letters to Angel - Two weeks ago

2011-05-04T08:12:00.000-04:00

Two weeks ago today you were in surgery at this time for your first liver transplant. It has been a long two weeks. I have spent a week at the hotel. That may end today. Yesterday, you actually opened your eyes when the nurse called your name. She said "Look who's here" and your eyes searched for me. That was a great feeling that you could actually focus. You are still doing that today. Yesterday you were also taken off the dialysis machine. I wish I had a pic of the machine for you. Your kidney is doing it's job now.

The only down side is your blood pressure. When the nurses go to do anything like re-position you, or clean you mouth, or even clean up your bowel movements (which you have been doing for 3 days now. yay).. you get agitated. Then your blood pressure goes up to 200+. You give the nurses no choice but to sedate you.. However then your bp goes below 100. It is a vicious cycle! On Monday, you were supposed to get a trach... but your blood pressure was too low.

Kim, your nurse, was trying so hard to get your bp steady but wow, you like to make things difficult. LOL. Thankfully last night was better for you. Lidia, your night nurse, decided to talk to you before doing anything and you let her do what she had to do.

Today you should be getting a trach done and kidney stone stinted. Oh yes dear.. the cat scan shows you have 2 kidney stones. One is a pretty good size and may cause a problem so they are going to stint it now. After you get better they will work on blasting it.

I love and miss talking with you!

Letters to Angel - Fever

2011-05-01T09:10:00.000-04:00

Dearest Angel,

You have a fever. Yesterday it was 101.8. Before I left it was down to 96.6. Chris (the nurse) even put ice packs under your armpits. He also had x-rays done and alot of bloodwork. This morning I woke to see you and it was up to 102.1. You are scaring me .. you know that don't you.

Abraham is visiting you today.

Tomorrow you are going to go in for a tracheotomy.

Letter's to Angel - Day 10

2011-04-30T11:59:00.000-04:00

I have not written in a while. Every day is the same. Every day I go in and they tell me you are doing better but you are not ready to wake up yet. It doesn't help when I wake up with hope that this will be the day but it isn't.

I am sleeping at the hotel now. They are taking care of the bill. It is ok. It is a bit further from you.. but this morning I timed it. took 5 min to get to the lobby and wait for security to bring me to the front of the hospital and another 5 min to get upstairs and to you. I have even started leaving around 7pm during shift change to go and try to sleep. I get up at 5 and get ready to see you before the next shift change.

Every day is the same. I spend most of my time holding your hand when I am in the room. When you start to wake just a bit, I try to calm you. We thing you are confused and scared. You fling your arms around and your blood pressure goes up. Then the nurses end up giving you more meds. One day they told me you nodded when they asked if you were in pain. You look so uncomfortable with that tube.

Last time for the first time you acknowledged me in the room. I was talking to you and I said.. "honey, squeeze my hand if you hear me. After saying this twice you squeezed. I was so thrilled I said .. you can hear me?? and you squeezed again. I had to go as the shift change was happening. so I told you that I would be going to the hotel to sleep and be back in the morning. You nodded your head.. twice. I didn't want to leave you at that point. It gave me hope. I miss you.

Pastor Jason and Paula came to see me last Friday. We sat and talked about you. They got me laughing and smiling and they prayed for you. They shared some great stories I can't wait to tell you about. On Sunday, Mike brought mom, dad and Anna. I shared with you already a bit of that day. Paula and Melodye came on Wednesday. Mel pulled out a dice game I think you would love. It was so simple. and comes in a tin. On Wednesday Steph took me to Walmart and I bought a few shirts and some stuff for the hotel. You would be proud of me.. they were not all simple tees. That has been it for company.. Steph has a hard time coming often. Abraham says he and Mariah will come tomorrow, (Sunday.)

The docs have been talking about putting a trache in your throat. The tube that goes down your mouth is very uncomfortable and only meant for short term. They told me the benefits and one is that you may be able to be awake. Although I was warned you may be delirious for a day or two. The tube that you have now can damage your vocal cords along with many other things. I signed the papers and okayed it. It is so hard to make these decisions alone. But I have been hearing from docs and nurses along with Aaron that this is a good option. The tube is only meant for maybe 2 weeks. You will have been on the tubes for 12 days on Monday. That is the day scheduled for the trache.

Last night Laurie Collins got ahold of me. She helped me realize that I am not doing a bad thing by putting you first. She is very shocked and wants to come up here soon.

I am going in to see you now. They were repositioning you. I will write more later. Honey, I love you!

An interesting day..

2011-04-25T21:10:00.000-04:00

There is a family that has been coming here. An older gentleman and his grown children. His wife is in the ICU. He has over heard that we were getting a new liver and was very happy for us. This morning he came over just to see how everything went last night.

Later this afternoon a lady came in. She quickly went in to see someone but not without a big smile and "Hello". When she came back she said.. "You are still here?" Do you need prayer. I quickly explained our situation and she prayed with me. How nice!

Then this evening the chaplin came up. She brought up a prayer shawl for me. There is a ministry of ladies who knit shawls and pray over them. They pray for whoever will receive the shawl. They usually give this shawl to patients but sometimes they decide to give it to someone who has been diligent. What a thoughtful gift.

Letters to Angel - New Liver

2011-04-25T09:58:00.001-04:00

It was a hard night. They wheeled you into the elevator at 8:22pm. Pam (your nurse) asked if I wanted to say goodbye to you. I did not want to say goodbye.. Later maybe but not goodbye.

Steph waited with me and before 2am Doc Shames came out with a big smile on his face. Surgery was a success! I didn't get to see you til 5am. It has been torture. I am looking forward to you waking up.

Sadly, it was later explained that they would not wake you up just yet. They didn't want to rush you off the ventilator. I totally understand however, I miss your voice, your expressions and your touch.

Letters to Angel - Anna came

2011-04-24T19:47:00.000-04:00

It is 7:34 and I am a nervous wreck. They have not wheeled you in yet. I am literally sitting here waiting for them to bring you to the elevator.

Annaleah came today. Mike insisted I leave the hospital for a bit. I finally went and we walked all over looking for a restaurant. We ended up right back at the cafeteria. Poor Mike!

Letter's to Angel - good news!

2011-04-24T11:40:00.000-04:00

I was sitting with you when Dr. Shames came in and said they found a liver! I was in shock because I looked at him and said 'really?'. The liver is coming from Boston. They hope to have you in surgery by 5pm. I will admit, I keep crying. Pure joy mixed with fear....

Letter's to Angel 2

2011-04-24T06:30:00.001-04:00

It is 6:26am on Sunday. I always go to see you from 6-7am. The Shift Change happens from 7-9am and I am not allowed in the room with you. They won't let me in right now. I am trying not to panic. The never said no before. I am sure it is just something simple like changing your dressing. But I don't know if I can leave to get food at 7 if I don't see you first.

Don't worry. I have been eating three meals a day and Steph brings me junk food. I always hear your voice lecturing me to eat.

Anna is coming today. It is her birthday. I bought a locket downstairs that has a charm that says "Daddy's Angel.

I am getting impatient. I really want to see you right now.

Letters to Angel

2011-04-23T19:57:00.002-04:00

Dearest Angel,

Today is Saturday, April 23rd. We came to Hartford Hospital on Tuesday, April 19th for your liver transplant. They wheeled you away at 7am the next morning for surgery. Who knew you would spend the next week fighting for your life. Wednesday, I experienced the most painful moment in my life.

Dr. Brown came in at 2:45pm and escorted me to a private room. He sat me down and proceeded to tell me that there were complications in the surgery and your thin blood was just bleeding out on the table. They were fighting to stop it. It looked like you were not going to make it off the table.

Honey, I won't tell you what happened in detail but I will tell you that I had never felt such pain in my life. I was stunned and not sure what I was thinking. Dr. Brown gave me a hug and asked me if I wanted to see a Chaplin. No. I didn't want to see anyone at that moment that didn't know me. I admit I did think of Jason.. but quickly passed that thought to the side. After Dr. Brown left I pleaded and begged the Lord over and over. Some did send a Chaplin but I did not feel any better. I only felt like I had to be polite.

The next 6 hours were the worst. Steph rushed to be with me and we waited 6 long hours. Everyone in waiting area was gone. Steph left the private room and started using the hospital phone to make some calls. She finally got someone on the phone who could find out what was going on.

Dr. Lally and Dr. Shames came to talk to me. You were alive but not doing well. When they tried to connect the arteries of the liver together they had difficulty. Somehow the liver cracked and that is where the bleeding started. They managed to pack you up with ice and gauze but they couldn't close you.

Finally at almost 2:30. Almost 20 hours later, I was able to see you. It wasn't good but you were alive! I didn't make it back to the waiting area on my own however because Steph came rushing towards me. Apparently I was sobbing loudly. I would guess it was louder than I did with "My Lucky Star".

Amazingly you have spent the next 3 days fighting as we wait for a new liver. We are still waiting and praying. There are hundreds of people praying for you right now. Cesar is updating your family. I really tried to update your mom up to that point but I just couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't tell her that horrible news. I immediately called Cesar and told him. I am surprised he could understand me. I was a mess and I hope you can forgive me.

You have been put back on the list for a new liver. You are top priority in New England and that includes 0+ since you are in critical condition.

I love you and I can not lose you. Please stay strong for us. Hold on tight until a new liver comes. Don't give up!

Nighttime Thoughts...

2011-04-20T03:11:00.000-04:00

I am sitting here, awake, at 2:35 am. I did sleep for roughly 2 hours. I just suddenly woke and now can't sleep. I know it is because the doctor said the surgery could happen between 2am and 8am. I am a numbers girl, and I don't think there will be much sleep tonight.

I was thinking about the donor. The doctor tonight mentioned that they would be removing the organs from the donor around midnight. This would be a long process. I am and kinda in awe about that. I seriously never really thought about what it would mean to have a donor. What the details would entail. Of course they would be donating more than just 1 organ. Which also means the day was obviously spent getting many recipients to the hospital today. Thankfully we have not been impatient here at the hospital, but just never thought of all the background stuff.

So far, all we know about the donor is that she was a 40 year old woman who exercised regularly and was in good health. She was a light drinker but they say that isn't a problem. My thoughts and prayers go out to her family. I really don't know anything else. It all happened so fast we never thought to even ask more questions about her. Was she a mother? How did she pass? I don't know how much they would have shared.

So far they say all looks great. However, they would not know fully until they see the liver itself. There is that small chance they could send us home in the morning. However, deep down I don't think that would happen. We are here for a reason just like we missed that first call for a reason.

I think it is time to try to close my eyes again.

Another surprise phone call...

2011-04-19T21:45:00.000-04:00

We got a phone call this morning.

We are now sitting in the hospital, waiting for Angel to get a new liver.

Please keep us in your prayers.

For more information go to

http://welcome2mydailylife.blogspot.com/

The above was written so I could post a short video on YouTube. This morning we got another call. Another liver was available. Angel being type B negative this seemed so odd. We just couldn't say no. Of course initially this brought up a huge emotional turmoil for me. Jade and Kate were here for the week. We had a Spa party sleepover planned for Friday and Saturday. Annaleah will be 10 on Sunday. Easter Sunday. So much to do. I was having so much fun. How could everything just fall apart? How could this happen now?

Yes, that was my thoughts. It sounds awful.. but there is so much more. Angel has been doing really well health-wise. I guess to the point were we could pretend nothing was really wrong. We knew he may need a liver down the line.. but the docs made it sound like it would be a long way down that road. Not to mention the entire process after surgery. It is scary! So much info. At least a month of me taking care of him. Tons of doctors appointments. The meds alone to stop his body from preventing the liver will cost alot. The first year will be concerns of infections and more. This is not to be taken lightly.

But then, not one call, but 2! In 3 days?? Was the Lord trying to tell us something? So here we are. All plans cancelled. Anna is now in RI with her Mimi. I have no idea who will care for Ethan during this time. This is not going to be easy on Justine to find care for him. I don't know how David will get too and from work daily. Right now.. I don't know anything..

Except that we are here. Waiting. They say the surgery could be very early morning. The MRI, X-rays and EKG are fine. We are just waiting for that final word that says the liver is perfect.

So here we will wait.... .

Ramblings before the craziness begins

2011-04-18T08:22:00.003-04:00

The nieces are here! Talk about chaos. I figure I should get some writing done before they wake for the day. However, I need to clean too! It is hard to clean when they are awake. I want to spend every moment with them. You never know what you will miss. It could be Ethan saying something adorable to one of them to them sharing a story with you.

The girls arrived on Saturday. I spent a bit of alone time with them while Anna went to Jazz Class. Later in the day, we had to take David to work so we all decided to head off to Walmart. Here are a few pictures of our adventure.

Must start out with a cute pic of Ethan cuddling with Grandpa

Gotta hang out with Bert and Ernie!

Ethan loved this duck and really tried to get me to buy it.

Jade fell in love with Optimus Prime and begged Anna to chose him as her pinata.

However, Anna chose this duck. I think he is too cute to smash!

This is what happens when we shop with the girls here.

I got tired of hearing, “I am hungry!”

I honestly never buy this much junk!

Ethan insists that this is the proper way to wear a coat.

Must enjoy Chinese buffet after all that shopping!

Ethan loved the ice cream!

Pretty girl..

Video should be coming soon, if it doesn’t get to busy around here that is.

Middle of the night phone calls.

2011-04-17T10:59:00.001-04:00

Every night, as I get into bed, I silence my phone. I am hard of hearing and remove my aids at night. So it isn’t like I can hear the phone anyways. The reason I shut off the sounds is so whatever texts or twitter messages that go through, doesn’t wake up my husband.

I woke up with 6 missed calls from a number I did not recognize. It was a woman named Katie from Hartford Transplant Hospital. It was very urgent that we call back by 6am. Six missed calls in 2 hours.

I instantly woke Angel and we were both very confused. Why would the hospital be calling us? So Angel called them. It seems last night there was a liver donor. They had to give the liver to the next person on the list.

We were definitely in shock. We were told Angel would not get a transplant in his current health. However, being on the list would eliminate spending precious time getting on the list if his health declined. So why were we being called. Absolutely nothing has changed since his last endoscopy 3 weeks ago.

Turns out he is at the top of the list. He has the highest MELD Score. Angel is guessing there just isn’t much of a list for his blood type??? We were seriously in shock. Katie mentioned she was sorry but maybe there is a good reason why were missed this donor. Which I have to say, we agree.

If we had heard the call, what would we have said? Angel said a few times this morning, “I am not ready.” Neither of us are ready. I just can’t imagine what we would have said. Would we have rushed to the hospital anyways?? Actually Angel would have had to go alone. The nieces are here for the week. We have Anna’s tenth birthday bash planned. I would be on the phone right now trying to reach the girls mom and my mom to take Anna. Then trying to figure out a way to get to Angel. The next two months would be our scariest ever. From what we are told, life after a transplant is hard and crucial for the next two months. What would we have done? Would Angel have told them he wasn’t ready?

Honestly, I don’t know what we would have done. We sat in our bed for 2 hours in shock. It is obvious, we need to come up with a plan of attack for the next time we receive that call. I guess I am not silencing my phone at night anymore.

Crazy Busy Weekend!

2011-04-13T22:22:00.001-04:00

This weekend has been nuts.

Seriously! I am using the Window’s Liver writer. I wrote the title on Tuesday and then the First sentence this morning. That’s it. I can’t seem to focus on writing. My mind is mush. Dare I try again tomorrow?? Hmm…

I am going to bed.

Day 17: Am I named after anyone?

2011-04-08T10:57:00.001-04:00

Day 17: Am I named after anyone?

I most certainly am. I am named after this wonderful person below.

That would be my mom. For some reason, my dad wanted me to have her name. I also inherited the middle name as well but I am thankful mom was able to change his mind. That middle initial was the only thing that kept us apart. Now that I married, I don’t have that problem as much.

One of the disadvantages of having the same name was being called at home by my dad. We would here.. “Linda!” Both mom and I would shout, “Which one?” Another disadvantage is that I am now stuck with the title, “Little Linda” forever.

With that being sad, I named my son, David. Now I thought we were in the clear since my Dad is David Anthony, and my brothers are William Andrew and Michael David. I had loved the name David since I was a little girl and begged my parents to give Mike that name.

I figured, I was safe. So I named him David Andrew. He would get my brothers and father’s names without it being confusing.

Um.. No. My dad soon needed a copy of his birth certificate. When he got that copy it was discovered that his actual name is David Antony. (no h) Which now means not only does my son have his first name, he also has his middle intial. Talk about confusing! Thankfully, everyone calls my dad Tony, although I know David is proud to carry his Papa’s name.

My Least Favorite Chore

2011-04-07T19:03:00.001-04:00

Note: I am really behind on the 31 Day Challenge, however, I am not going to quit. I would like to finish this to the end. Day 16 - Your least favorite chore.

I could think on this one all day. Chores are constant. Some of the most dreaded must do’s are ..

The dreaded dishes! Seriously! This is never ending. This sink is never actually clean. I do not have a dishwasher or much counter space.. so those dishes must be hand washed and dried. We won’t even get into the drying part. That was my chore as a teen and the dislike for it followed into adulthood. Although I don’t think I complain about it as much as I did as a teen. How did my mom ever put up with me. LOL.

I know. I could have Anna do the dishes, but that means I would have to re-wash many of them. Seriously, I might as well get it done right the first time. I would ask David but he is hardly ever here. Angel does them once in a while.. but that leaves me to do them a good 4 times a day.

However, seeing dishes in the sink reminds me that we have enough food in the house. Everyone gets to eat until they are content, and believe me, everyone does! There have been times that I will panic over finances or groceries, however I am thankful that we have always had food in our pantry and fridge. It may not be what we want, however we do not go hungry.

Laundry is another chore that is never ending. Although I really shouldn’t complain too much. We do have a washer and a dryer. Sometimes I start feeling really guilty because I should hang my clothes to dry. I told my husband not to purchase a dryer when we got married, but he didn’t listen. We used to live in an apartment complex and they cut our clothesline because they said it made the place look bad. The lines were in the back yard away from the road. I will never understand that one. So that is when hubby put his foot down and bought a dryer.

I just got flashbacks of me as a teen, washing my brothers jeans in the bathtub. Or walking to the laundry mat with mom every week with tons of laundry being dragged behind us. Washing clothes in a washer and dryer is not something I should complain about at all.

The last chore that I complain about the most is cleaning the cluttered area. The fireplace tends to be crowded with toys and playdoh and magazines. Paperwork tends to end up in those baskets. I really dislike cleaning this area.

Then there is the cubby that used to hold my laptop. Now it has become an area for school books, card games and bubbles. All those odds and ends in the house tends to find their way here.

However, I am thankful I get to be home for my daughter. I am able to home school her and spend my days with her. I really need to treasure this time in her life more often. I also get to spend alot of time with my grandson. I will never get these moments back. All these things are temporary. While I know that I can strive to be more organized and clutter free.. these are not what I want to put above the children in my life.

Now dusting, that is one chore I will never understand!

It’s a Blog Party!

2011-04-06T11:44:00.001-04:00

If you are visiting from 5 Minutes For Mom’s 2011 Ultimate Blog Party, Welcome!

I am participating in the Ultimate Blog Party for the first time this year! I have been hearing so much about it. It looks like alot of fun. I am really late joining in though.

Not sure what the Ultimate Blog Party is? You can find out all about it here.

Let me introduce myself…

I am Linda. I am a stay at home wife, mother and Grandmother. I also homeschool my daughter as well as the other chores that comes with the job. I enjoy spending quiet times either reading, doing sudoku puzzles or watching Asian dramas with my hubby. I especially love jigsaw puzzles however those are very rare!

With me is my hubby, Angel. Angel works from home so he gets the pleasure of being with us almost every moment of the day. He has recently been diagnosed with non-alcoholic cirrhosis. We have had some scary moments but for now he is doing really well. He knows just how to make me smile when I need I need it the most. We will be married 12 years this summer.

This is my son David – 22 and Grandson Ethan – soon to be 4 in May!

David spends most of his days either working or hanging out with Ethan here. He loves to do outdoorsy stuff, like camping and hiking. I have no idea where that came from as I am not an outdoors person at all!

Ethan gets to spend about 4-5 days with us a week. He is a busy boy and loves cars and trains. He also loves riding his scooter in the cul-de-sac in front of our home.

This is my daughter Annaleah. She will be 10 this month! She loves to dance. She has been taking Ballet for 5 years now. She also does Tap and Jazz.

We also have a newest addition to our family..

This is Popotan. She is now 6 months old and very wild. She loves to play with our Rabbit, Bubbles.. but Bubbles does not want to play with her. We also have 2 fishes.

I must add my grand-daughter Meadow. I am not able to see her as much but she is so important to our family!

Meadow is 2 years old. We treasure every moment with her!

While most of my days are spent with these kids..

we love to add a few more to our home about 4 times a year..

Two of these girls are my nieces. I love every moment with them.

I guess deep down I crave the chaos.

Thanks so much for stopping by! Leave a comment and I will go visit your blog. I am always looking for new blogs to read.

Mingling: Careers, Ethnic Foods and Sports..

2011-04-04T19:19:00.001-04:00

It’s time for another Monday Mingle!

This Week’s Questions are:

1. If you could choose a new career path, what would you choose?

2. What is your favorite ethnic food?

3. Are your kids involved in sports/activities?

Please excuse the babbling below..

Mingling with a song, coupons and apps

2011-03-28T20:32:00.001-04:00

Current questions {week of 3/28/11}:

1. What is your favorite song right now?
2. How good are you about using coupons at the grocery store?

3. Do you have a Smartphone? If so what are your top 3 games/apps?

Friday News, Busy Saturday, Lazy Sunday

2011-03-27T20:33:00.002-04:00

Friday – Angel went in for his Colonoscopy. They said that the antibodies for Celiac is really high, and while they did rule that out recently, they need to look into it again. Angel will have to swallow a camera. Angel talked to them about Anna and the doc said she will most definitely be affected. We decided to hold off til we know for sure this time. Maybe going gluten free somehow ruined the test last time.

Friday night, Anna had her performance at a Nursing Home. I stayed home and Angel took some pics.

When they got home we watched The Secret of Moonacre (I think). We really enjoyed that one.

Saturday was busy. We rushed to the first Nursing Home. We were able to watch the performance from the back but I was not able to take videos or pictures. Being at the homes was a bit sad for me. I just kept thinking of my Gram. She would have loved to see Anna dance. I really miss her.

After the first nursing home, we rushed to grab a lunch at McD’s, Then headed off to Jazz class.
From there we headed to the next nursing home. This one had a good size cafeteria and I was able to get some video footage. whoo hoo.

We headed over to Walmart for some grocery shopping, ended up stopping at their McD’s for ice cream first. We were supposed to hit the library and post office but I was so tired. Anna looked exhausted as well. So we just headed home. It was almost 5pm when we walked in the door.

Sunday was lazy day for us. None of us felt well. Ethan came around 12:30 and spent the afternoon with us. We watched Megamind. Not bad at all. The kids really enjoyed it. I recorded them while they were sitting on my lap after the movie.

Something that bugs you.

2011-03-25T12:28:00.001-04:00

Day 15 - Something that bugs you.

I am behind. Way behind. Mainly because of the week with my mom and traveling to and from the Hartford Hospital. This week isn’t any easier as hubby is at the hospital right now and Anna has alot of dance performances this weekend.

So I will catch up some how. It is ok if I am late.

Let’s see something that bugs me.

Woman who tickle in public bathrooms and leave a mess for the next person!

Seriously, as women, I figure they would be considerate of others when they are done in public restrooms. I hate having to use a public bathroom, but even more I hate bringing my daughter or even my grandson in one. I am sometimes appalled when I see the condition of the toilet seat. I always always always check the seat before I leave the bathroom. Which leads to another thing that bugs me.

Bathrooms that do not have paper towels. I understand the need to save the enviroment. But when you have a messy toilet seat and no other seat to use.. it helps to have paper towels to clean such seats with (and sometimes the floor too!) Toilet paper won’t do in this situation. When you have a young one that desperately needs to use the potty.. you can’t just leave in search of another bathroom!

Not to mention the really loud dryers that young children tend to be afraid of.. it is hard enough when I have to hold my hand over the automatic flusher so it won’t send the child screaming and running into the corner of the stall. Now my child or grandchild has to leave with wet hands because he is terrified of the dryer as well.

and honestly folks, have you ever actually seen the paper that is supposed to be in the koala care changing tables for your use? I have never ever seen actual paper.. When traveling with a young child I tend to always bring receiving blankets.. but not with a toddler who needs to be changed.

So I guess I have issues with public bathrooms. hmm..

Everything in one place

2011-03-25T10:00:00.001-04:00

I have been blogging in two places for awhile now. My original blog is over at Xanga. I started this blog way back in 2002. Anna was just about a year or so. I even pay for premium there. The sad thing is you are really limited to what you can do on the website. A while ago I decided to check out blogger. I do like it here but don’t want to lose my stuff there.

One of the down sides of using blogger is my pictures. You are really limited to how much you can store on the free plan. I have alot of space over on Xanga, because I pay for it. The great thing about Xanga is they can send you a backup file of your blogs. As long as you back it up on your pc, you don’t lose anything. I have not seen that feature yet here on blogger.

I know another option is to set up a paid site. However, I am hesitant when it comes to the work involved and the cost. Today I plan on looking a bit deeper into my options. Any suggestions would be great. I would like to have everything in one area instead of posting in multiple places.

A terrific Surprise!

2011-03-25T09:05:00.001-04:00

As many know, after Angel’s hospitalization we were hit with many bills. One being the emergency helicopter that was over 22,000. The first bill came in total saying that they could not get Aetna to pay. About a month later we received another bill that said Aetna made a payment and we now owed over 9,000. Still bad but much better than the first. Unfortunately with the number of bills we received (12!). I could only make small payments.. So I started with 10.00. Some bills were smaller so we paid those in full and the rest got 10.

Yesterday, we grabbed the mail and I found a check for 10.00 and a notice saying we overpaid. What?? Angel went online to the insurance site and it appears that Aetna paid the entire bill! Wow! What a tremendous blessing! Of course we still have alot more bills but this is a really nice surprise!

As I mentioned in the last post, I messed up our checking account. All day I checked the bank and that 15.00 just glared at me. I am happy to announce we are now ok. The State Refund came in along with Angel’s pay and we can now breathe. This is the reason I never like to go under 200.00 in our account. You just never know what you will need. Whew.

Emotional Ramblings..

2011-03-24T13:00:00.001-04:00

I have been hiding alot of my feelings lately. Someone said something this morning because I mentioned that I am hesitant when sharing certain things on my blog. She said something that is so true. This is my blog. The reason I write is to get out my thoughts and feelings. I can be pretty negative. It tends to distance me from others, but if I can’t share these thoughts somewhere.. how will it help me?

So here it goes.

Tuesday was a long day. We spent the entire day at the hospital for my husband’s Transplant Evaluation. I handled it pretty well, til yesterday.

See I am an emotional person. Always have been. My mom has always told me I over react. I worry too much. Tuesday night someone told me I complain too much.

I didn’t think much of it. I brushed it off.. whatever.

Then yesterday morning things just started piling up in my head.

Tuesday, while Angel was eating lunch. David started to tell me that Anna weirds him out. She is strange, and unsociable. I need to let her hang with the other kids. Angel said he wants her to ride her bike around the neighborhood. Explore, etc. David just kept going with how she should be able to go to the park and how she needs to stop being whiny and how it is not good that she still clings to me at times.

They just went on and on. I remained calm. I may have allowed David to go to the store alone at her age.. but she is not David. Anna will go up to anyone and talk to them. Especially if they have a dog or cat with them. She will tell me.. oh but mommy.. she was so nice and pretty. etc. She seriously doesn’t believe anything bad could happen to her. This freaks me out and I feel that I need to be extra watchful. She is also a bit boy crazy! I let her play outside but I have to be able to see her when I walk to the window. She is allowed in the cul-de-sac and rides her bike.

So of course my thoughts are .. am I hurting her. Am I ruining her life. Is she unsociable. Should I put her in school so she has other friends. If I did put her in school, will I lose her like I did David?

I am not putting Anna in school.. I am not giving her that kind of freedom to roam the neighborhood. There are things I can do.. but my mind still wanders back to being a failure as a parent.

Mom has been sick. She has been sleeping alot, not up to playing games, says she wants to watch movies but falls asleep, nothing tastes good, etc. Her printer isn’t working. She really wants Angel to come fix it. We are not sure he would even know what is wrong. The hard thing is the time it takes to go up there and do that. We brought her home last night however, we could not stay. So many things happening. I always end up feeling bad. I want her to be happy but I can not control things.

Angel just got word yesterday that he has to have the colonoscopy done this Friday. He was going to just go alone. He can’t do that. They are not going to let him leave. He isn’t supposed to drive. So David said he will go with him. Of course that means another day off David doesn’t get. He has not seen his son all week.. and won’t til next week now. Not to mention how Anna is going to get to the nursing home Friday night for her dance, if Angel can’t drive.
This makes me think that things would be so much easier if I wasn’t so afraid of driving. If I was a driver, it would relieve so much pressure. However, I don’t know how to control the fears and the visions that come over me when I think of even driving. It literally scares me to death.

It doesn’t help that we are really broke. Gas is pricey! It is about 80.00 to fill the van. Taking mom home, driving Anna to her classes and performances and now drive to Hartford again on Friday and next Thursday is taking it’s toll on us. Last night Angel found out he needed to get 3 different meds to prepare for the colonoscopy. Then I messed up big time. David needed minutes on his phone. I completely forgot that they sometimes automatically take it out from my card. I went ahead and entered the payment knowing that he would pay me tonight. After the payment went through I noticed they already pulled a payment, (it didn’t show up a second earlier!) I called immediately and they fixed it. However the bank will not show it for 3-5 business days. Ok, no problem right, 30.00 is in the bank. We have never in our lifetime had just 30 in there.. but ok. We can do this.

I woke this morning and immediately checked the bank. The monthly bank fee went through! Now we have 15.00! Am I freaking out? ~~Totally!~~ Just a bit.

There are so many things going on in my mind. There is the worry about Angel even needing a transplant. I can’t let myself think that far. It is terrifying to hear what he will go through. Then there is wondering if he is going to bleed this time like he did after the last endoscopy?

I feel like there is this huge boulder sitting there on my shoulder. What is worse is I can’t really talk to anyone. The friends I have are already overwhelmed with the things going on in their lives. I can’t make things harder for them. I know that I can be very negative. I know that I tend to need to vent alot more than the average person. However, venting does help me move on. Keeping it all bottled in doesn’t. Trying to keep my thoughts and emotions contained causes a huge can of worms to open on my end.

I want to be the listener. I enjoy being there for others. I don’t want to be the needy one. Maybe mom is right and I am supposed to just give it to God and go on my merry way. I try, but it doesn’t work out so well.

So yesterday I just broke down. I just went to my room and started bawling. Usually I feel better. I did not.

Wow! This is long! Wonder if I scared anyone away.

Transplant Evaluation

2011-03-22T06:14:00.002-04:00

6:10am. We are heading to Hartford Hospital. I have been up since 4am. I hope I remembered everything i needed to. It is odd being out so early in the morning.

7:42 We arrived at 7am. After some confusion about where to t, we are now settled in a room. Three ladies have been here asking the usual questions and now Angel is being set up with an IV.

8:24 Angel is now having stress tests done. I am in the waiting room. They say it will be about an hour to an hour and a half. Hope they don't forget me. LOL!

10:24 - That was quite a wait. David joined me in the waiting room. Angel got done with the stress test at 10 and we had to walk quite a distance to get to the GI building. Now he is all prepped for the endoscopy and colonosopy. He mentioned that the stress test was the oddest feeling. He felt like he just ran 2 miles. Definitely would be odd when you never left the bed.

1:14 - Things got a bit crazy. Angel finally went in for the endoscopy about 11:15. I met David at the cafeteria. We both grabbed a slice of pizza and shared some wings. We headed back up around 11:50, just in time. He had just woken up. They did not do the colonoscopy because they never gave us the stuff to prepare for it. They did re-band the esophagus. He will have to have another endoscopy in six weeks along with the colonoscopy.

We made it upstairs for Angel's lunch. I assumed he would be on liquids again bit they gave him a meal. Penned pasta with chicken, carrots, peaches, a slice of bread and apple juice. He ate it all. Although he had to slow down.

He just left around 1 for a chest X-ray and MRI. We are staying in the room this time. This will be awhile.
3:45 - Angel came back from MRI. His pulmonary function test isn't til 3:30 but the managed to get him in earlier he just left about ten min ago. They say this will take 45 min.

We are finally heading home. We stopped to eat before heading out. The only information we got was he will have to go back for the colonoscopy. They have to check for polyps. If he has any, they need to be removed before transplant surgery because the medications he will be on after transplant can make the polyps cancerous. It appears he is now on the transplant list.

Updates on Angel

2011-03-21T21:28:00.001-04:00

I am thinking of using this site to post update on Angel's testing tomorrow. We will have to see how it works.

The Unedited Mingle

2011-03-21T18:45:00.001-04:00

Current questions {week of 3/21/11}:

1. What would you do for fun if you had to give up TV and internet?
2. What is your favorite breed of dog?

3. What is under your bed right now?

Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 14

2011-03-18T19:05:00.001-04:00

Day 14 - One thing you want to do before you die.

I want to see my daughter get married and be there for the birth of her first child.

Preparing for Transplant Evaluation

2011-03-18T18:56:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, we had a meeting at the hospital with the Transplant Coordinator, Social Worker, Financial Coordinator and Dietitian. It was very informative.

Transplant Coordinator – We talked about getting Angel on the transplant list and what that would mean. Right now Angel is doing well and looking good. If he gets on the transplant list right now, and continues to do well, he will not get a liver. However, if things go bad, he will already be on the list and able to move up. They will continue to check his bloodwork to see if his results stay around the same or gradually get worse. The hardest thing is because they do not know the cause, they can not predict what is to come. They did mention that there are lots of people who die with cirrhosis but not of cirrhosis.

We talked about live donors. This is not done within the group mainly because the donor has to have a perfect bill of health. They have to be roughly the same size and young. No drinking or smoking. They would be giving 60% of their liver to the patient. This has sometimes resulted in the death of the donor. Very scary stuff.

After the transplant, Angel would be on 30 pills a day to prevent his body from rejecting the liver. He would be watched closely for the first month. Gradually he would be taken off some of the pills however, will have some pills that will need to be taken for life.

Social Worker – We talked about who we have for support. How would I get to and from the hospital during his stay. Who would be able to drive him to and from the hospital 2 times a week. He would need to be under constant care 24/7 for at least a month. Can I handle that while caring for my daughter and grandson. Who would be our emotional support.

Dietitian – We went over Angel’s current diet. She was very impressed. The only changes she suggests is that Angel have a protein snack in the evenings. She mentioned that he needs to exceed the protein due to the liver not being able to produce it on it’s own. The toxins that were in his body in the beginning were due to the ammonia that the liver can not process. So that is where the lactulose comes in. It helps the body get rid of the ammonia.

Exercise was also mentioned and strongly suggested. Even if it is only 15 min of walking a day. I was kidding around about purchasing a Wii. The dietitian said that it was actually a really good idea.

Financial Coordinator – Of course this meeting was all about the cost. The prescriptions after surgery will be the huge burden. It was mentioned that some of the prescriptions he will have to live on, are the most expensive ones.

We walked away feeling very unsure about this entire procedure. Right now our prayers are that Angel’s health will be the same. Of course we will cross the bridge if we come to it.

Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 13

2011-03-17T22:56:00.001-04:00

Day 13 - How do I relax.

There was a time when relaxing meant a really long bubble bath. (Calgon take me away!) I would bring in a nice book to read during my long bath. However, after pulling a ligament, I am not able to actually get down into the bathroom and up again. So bath are sadly missed for now.
If I really want to relax, there are a few things I do.

Pull out a good book to read.

Watch a good Asian Drama on my laptop

or get into a really good jigsaw puzzle with music playing

Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 12

2011-03-16T14:48:00.002-04:00

Day 11 - Something I do every day

This one is easy.

Every day I wake around 6am.
Every day I make smoothies
Every day I do the dishes, over and over and over again
Every day I write what hubby eats in a food journal
Every day I remind Anna to brush her hair and teeth
Every day I kiss Anna and hubby good night

Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 11

2011-03-15T23:38:00.001-04:00

Day 11 - A Photo that makes you laugh.

Need I say more?

Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 10

2011-03-14T22:58:00.001-04:00

Day 10 - Favorite room in the house

Our house has been in 'fixing' mode since we bought the house. I have not been okay with my house for a long time now. Basically since my husband decided we didn't need the blue paneling in the living room and hallway.. or the wall to wall carpet in the living/dining/hallway. Since then, things have constantly been in need of repair. We finally fixed the messed up walls (thick tacky like glue that was holding the paneling up)in the main rooms. We still need to work on our bedroom, Kitchen, bathroom shower wall. The list just keeps going.

With my son's help, we were able to get the Living Room looking so much better. However, we did not have a couch or money for a couch. Our last couch was infested with fleas. This was the year we got rid of the chickens we had. I guess the fleas were getting back at us because they were awful. So we tossed the couch. We sat in two kitchen type chairs to watch TV at night. We also had a huge table in the living room. It was just bad.

As David and his girlfriend were driving.. they saw someone put a couch on the curb. They immediately called us and we rushed down to look. It was in great shape. Not a single tear. They also had a recliner out. We could not fit the recliner in the van so sadly we left it. Well David and Abby grabbed the chair for us.

In the picture above, we had just purchased a rug and still had to cut down the mat underneath. This may not look awesome to many, but to this lady who spent a year without a Living Room. It was pefect!

Now I finally enjoy family nights when I can sit and cozy up to hubby. Much more relaxing than sitting in kitchen chairs!

Mingle about allergies and snoring

2011-03-14T18:11:00.001-04:00

1. Do you sew, crochet or knit?
2. Are you allergic to any foods? Bee stings?

3. Do you snore? Please describe

Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 9

2011-03-11T23:14:00.001-05:00

Day 9 - Your most treasured item.
Each assignment just gets harder. I have been thinking of this one all day. There are lots of things in my life that I treasure.
The Lord's love and protection
Time with my children
Time with my grandchildren
My husband
My friends
My computer
My home
and so much more.
Which do I choose. What do I talk about. Then as I was cleaning today, I came across this piece of paper.

I have tons of little pieces of papers, just like this. Some are from young kids I met over 22 years ago. The above was written by Jade during her last vacation here at my home. I take these little notes and try to put them in a folder. I am a total pack rat! Sometimes I find them in books that I have not opened in years.

This got me thinking of memories. I treasure my memories. These little treasures trigger those memories that are tucked deep within.

Will I still have those memories later in life? If I didn't have these little reminders, would I stumble across these memories on my own? What about the emotions that follow when the memories flood in?

Sure we can think of memories and emotions as 'bad' things in our life. I know there are quite a few bad memories and emotions in mine! I choose to thing of memories and emotions as a wonderful thing! Where would I be without them.

That is alot to think about.

Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 8

2011-03-10T19:25:00.001-05:00

Day 8 - A Birthday Celebration

This is going to be torture! Just one birthday celebration? I love planning birthday parties! Seriously!

For my son I did lots of themes. Sadly I don't remember them all and it would take ages to go through the pictures and home videos.

So here are a few.

Cars - he loved all those cars on his cake.
Circus - with a homemade clown pinata too!
Pirates - we had an awesome treasure hunt with this one.
Cowboys - even ate hot dogs and beans on the floor.
Space - had stars and planets hanging from the living room ceiling.

I don't remember the rest. He is 22 now. At the age of 10 he decided he wanted a party at a roller skating rink. I was devastated. This was the end of planning parties for me.

Then Annaleah was born! A Girl!

1st party was just a huge event inviting everyone to see our new home.

2nd year we had a Princess Party. Little girls in dresses and tiaras with huge pixie stix wands (with stars on top)

3rd year Dragon Tales! She just loved Dragon Tales. This party included a plastic egg hunt with little dinosaurs and toys inside. It helps that her birthday is in April!

4th year Spiderman.

Yep, you heard me right. My little girl loved Spiderman

5th year Tea Party.

Once again, little girls in pretty dresses all ready for tea. Fancy style too.

We even had to tiny sandwiches and fancy teacups.

6th year Pet party. This one was a sleepover. After all the girls were in pj's we secretly put a bag of stuffed animals all over the front yard. I told the girls that all the animals had escaped! They all ran out with flashlights to rescue every pet.

7th year Spy Party.

All the kids picked out spy names, had pics taken and badges made up. They had a mystery to solve too. Someone stole the birthday cake!

8th year Science Party.

We ordered all kinds of experiments from Science Bob and Steve Spangler. This was one of my favorite parties.

This cake caused me alot of grief as I ended up in tears making it. LOL. It was my first time working with Fondant.

9th year Rock Star Party.

All girls in their best Rock outfits. All kids put on karaoke performances in front of the crowd.. Including Ethan!

This year we are looking into a Spa Theme. My baby girl will be 10 next month. Thankfully she is not ready to give up on my parties. She says she will keep having them for as long as she can.

I am so happy!

Ok, so I shared a bit of all parties. Just couldn't help it!

How I make Yogurt

2011-03-09T15:32:00.001-05:00

There are lots of sites online that will show you how to make crockpot yogurt. I decided to change it up a bit by putting the crockpot on high for an hour vs having it on low for hours waiting for the right temp. I decided since I have gotten alot of requests, that I would post a video. I prefer to use plain greek yogurt as a starter. You can also save 1/2 cup of your yogurt to use as a starter for the next batch.

Please excuse the mess in this video. Of course during editing I noticed someone left Ramen on the counter and the outside of the crock could use a bit of cleaning. sigh.

Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 7

2011-03-09T15:19:00.001-05:00

Day 7 - Something you use every day.

1. Magic Bullet
We seriously use this every single morning for our smoothies. I am a bit worried that we will kill it soon. It has held up a long time so far.

2. My laptop
I never, ever go a day without getting on my laptop. Is that sad or what?

3. My cell phone.
This is another way for me to connect with the outside world. I never go anywhere without it. With my cell I can connect with my son, my parents and one of my closest friends. I have also been using the task list on here as well as my calendar. Really nice to have everything in one place.

Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 6

2011-03-08T17:01:00.001-05:00

Day 6 - My favorite memory.

I am sick today. As I lay here trying to think of my favorite memory, my brain hurts. I may have to give this a moment.

Thee are really a lot of memories floating around. The day I met my husband. A surprise birthday party. Times spent with family or friends. My children doing funny things. There are just too many.

One memory I have as a child is my dad bringing me to my mom's workplace. I remember his big hand holding my small one.

I remember the steps being so huge and seemed to take forever to climb. When we finally reached the top of the winding stairs, there was a room full of tall ladies and sitting at tables with sewing machines. They were all looking at me with big smiles. Everyone was talking to me and I didn't want to talk back. The were kinda scary to me. I finally saw my mom among those faces.

This memory feels like a dream. However when I shared this with my mom she told me when I was 2 years old, my dad got me all dressed and made my hair pretty. He took me to see my mom at her workplace. She was a seamstress. This is my earliest memory.

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Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 5

2011-03-07T22:45:00.001-05:00

Day 5 - Your Day

Monday is always a tough day since the weekend gets messy. I generally focus on cleaning and Annaleah does light school work. Today will be a little different as we are all heading out to see my Granddaughter Meadow this afternoon. We are very excited.

As usual I start my day at 6am.

I started my homemade yogurt in the crock pot first. Then it was time to make smoothies for all.

After the usual morning routine (dishes and general pick up) I got to work planning our meal for the trip to Meadow's tonight. We decided on Subway. Since Angel has to go low sodium, I printed out the nutrition guide and highlighted the sodium section to help him make better choices.

Between getting Anna to work on her chores, chatting with Angel and such I managed to restock our freezer with bananas for more smoothies during the week.

Finally, Anna got started on her school work and took a shower. I got to work on the spreadsheet for our food journal.

For lunch I made an egg casserole. This helps keep the sodium low for the day.

I finished up the yogurt and got it in the oven. I was shocked when I realized it was already 12:30 and Ethan was arriving.
Anna went back to work on her Grammar Lessons and I went to scrub down the bathroom. Seriously, I have no idea why since it will look exactly the same by tomorrow morning.. sigh.
After rushing around, trying to get everything packed and trying to get everyone out the door, we were finally on the road by 3pm. We stopped to pick up Subway Grinders for the trip. Angel and I got a veggie grinder. It was quite good. I have never had a veggie grinder before. Of course I still craved the buffalo chicken strips grinder that David ordered.

Then we headed off to Meadow's!

We hung out and played with Meadow.

We did not realize they were going to order pizza. whoops. It was good.

After about 2 hours, goodbyes were said and we headed off for a one and half hour drive home. Sadly I did not get a good pic of Annaleah.

Once we got home, Angel and I made some mung bean Sprout side-dish to refrigerate for tomorrow.

Then we got Annaleah ready for bed.

I will be up for a bit longer. I have to wait til 12:45ish to get the yogurt out of the crock and put it in some containers. I will also put some in mini muffin tins and freeze for tomorrow smoothies.
For now I guess I will look for an Asian Drama to watch while I am waiting.

I am exhausted!
Goodnight All!

Where will I be in 10 years??

2011-03-07T12:11:00.001-05:00

It’s time for another Monday Mingle. Join us!

This week’s Questions

Current questions {week of 3/7/11}:

1. Where do you think you’ll be/what you’ll be doing in 10 years?
2. You are ordering a hamburger at a restaurant (or veggie burger – how do you have it cooked, what type of cheese and what else goes on it?

3. What are the current gas prices like where you live?

Sickness and Saturdays..

2011-03-05T21:39:00.001-05:00

This was meant to be a part of the challenge.. however, if I had read ahead I would have known that weekends were off. Oh well.

My Saturday is nothing like the other days of the week. Usually we rush out the door by 11am to hit the library then drop Annaleah off at Jazz. During her Jazz class we head on over to a grocery store and get what we need for the week. We also tend to hit the Asian or Indian market.

However, today is not a normal Saturday. Yesterday, Anna started complaining of a stomach ache, sore throat and headache. Her temp was about 100.7. Usually I do not do a thing for a temp unless it is 101 or over. However, glossy eyes tell me this is serious. Giver her some meds.. have her rest. She did manage most of her schoolwork quietly in the chair. Then we sat and watched some Gilmore Girls together.

Her temp rose to 102.3 before bedtime. We put her to bed with us tonight. I do not do well with a sick child in another room at night.

So right now it is 9am and she is still sleeping. I have showered, dressed, made smoothies and updated our food journal. Ethan has arrived and is a busy boy already.

Annaleah just woke up. Looking and feeling better. her temp is 99.6.

Afternoon update:

Got really busy. Left Anna and Ethan with David (my son) and headed off to Job Lot, the Asian Market, and then Walmart. Came back and did tons of dishes with hubby, then made lunch. Played some games and such with Ethan and Annaleah.

I found this thing called Enviro Blox. It is basically the packing peanuts that dissolve in water. We had a bit of fun with that.

After playing with the EnviroBlox we teased Popotan with a laser light.. that was fun.

After Ethan left, I worked on editing a vlog and played a game with Annaleah. Then hubby made us Thai Curry,

(similar to the pic above)

which we ate while watching Stranger than Fiction.

We cried.

That was pretty much my day. Anna’s fever seemed to have been down all day.

We are still going to take it easy tomorrow, just to make sure.

I think it may be time to cuddle up with Anna and watch some Gilmore Girls.

Have a great night.

Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 4

2011-03-04T11:11:00.002-05:00

Day 4 -An experience that made me who I am today.
This is a really difficult question. There are a lot of things that make me the person I am today.

I was born into a family that did not have alot of money or material things. My parents had their issues. I will not share them here. They did the best they knew how with us. We were never starving or seriously injured. They kept us safe the best they knew how. When I was 7 years old I lost 60% of my hearing. This changed me in so many ways I can't explain. Kids in school are mean, that's for sure. However, I still loved school. I loved learning. I however, avoided most kids and only had 1 or 2 friends in school.

In my teen years, my parents were very overprotective. I didn't go anywhere, except school. That was just how it was. I was extremely shy and insecure. At 19 I met a guy. I was trying to escape my parents. I was a good girl. Did well in school. Never did anything to get anyone upset with me. Or tried not to. However, now I wanted out. I thought I was in love. Someone actually loved me back. However I did the one thing I had promised God and myself I would never do. I was so afraid of losing the 'guy' in my life. I would have done anything to make sure I stayed with him. Looking back, that kinda scares me now.

This was the first thing to completely change my life. At this point I realized that I did not want to ever put my child in any danger. I wanted a stable home, a stable life. My whole being started to revolve around this precious, precious being that had come from me. I wanted to do it all 'right'. However, I still didn't know what the right way was. I was determined to find out. I was never going to put anything ahead of this little guy. That included men. The one guy I thought I loved was now far away. I had moved to RI with my parents before I even knew I was pregnant. My parents were a huge blessing to me during this time.

Sure I was interested in other men. Thought they were cute. But that was the extent. I was not getting involved ever. I started a family day care so I could home school my son. I had heard horrible stories of a teacher in our area that called kids names in the classrooms. This one young shy boy was called "stupid" along with other names. There was no way I was taking a chance with my son. No one was going to hurt him in any way. (In that area I guess I became overprotective)
Then I met Angel who changed my world once again. Here was a guy who loved me for who I was. He was pushy for sure. He did not stop trying to win me over. He changed my life in so many ways. He wanted to adopt David but was very understanding when David did not want to change his last name. After 6 years of dating and only seeing each other on weekends. We were married.

This was a huge change. We moved to Connecticut. I no longer did home daycare or home schooled. David wanted to go to public school and Angel agreed. At this point I didn't know what to do with myself. I got involved in the school's PTO. This shy girl eventually took over as co-president of the PTO (although I still did the background work while my other co-president dealt with the stuff I avoided..lol) along with leading the Grinder Lunch Program and even the Fundraiser.

Then this little girl was born. However the first 24 hours of her life were shattered when it was discovered she had a cleft palate. The docs and nurses we dealt with had no understanding of what this truly meant. After a nurse forcing a bottle of formula down her throat which Anna aspirated into her lungs, Annaleah ended up in NICU, un-necessarily for over 2 weeks. The first week of docs not knowing what to do with her and me having to constantly remind them that she needed special bottles to prevent in from happening again. The fights for them to let me pump milk for her. It was horrible. They finally sent her to another hospital who spent the week teaching her how to eat so they could remove the tubes. This whole experience changed me once again. I discovered I was a lot stronger than I thought. I learned to fight for her. To learn what I needed to learn on my own. I no longer just trusted other's words.

There are so many things that make me who I am. Being a child/teen and watching how adults treat other kids (I have seen alot there). I have always been very aware of things around me. They shaped me in so many ways. Then there are big things. My grandmother's passing. Watching my mom as we almost lost my dad. I will say my parents have always amazed me. My dad even with his struggles with alcohol always made sure we had food. Always made sure we were safe. My mom has stuck through it all. Her endurance is amazing to me.

Lastly, the recent health issues with my husband. I am learning not to take this time for granted. To watch the strong men in my life suddenly fighting for their life has been the hardest experience I have ever had to go through. I know that each time I am getting stronger.

The Lord is showing us so much through each experience in our lives. He is shaping me to be the person He wants me to become.

March Vlogging Madness – Day 3

2011-03-03T17:33:00.001-05:00

I am cheating today. I am taking the question from the photo challenge and putting it in the vlog.

Photo & Prompt Challenge: Day 3

2011-03-03T13:10:00.001-05:00

Day 3 - Your favorite shows

We do not watch alot of shows on TV. There is however, one show that we can not miss.

We have watched Bones since the first time it aired.

Anna and I enjoy watching a series together during lunch break.

The current one we are getting from the library.

The one show we can watch over and over again as a family is..

We own the dvd's to Dr. Who. Unfortunately, we do not have cable so we have not seen the new season yet. :-(

Then last but not least. Our favorite Asian Drama is

We really enjoy Asian Dramas as a family. They do not take years to end. They usually last about 20+ weeks and have an ending. This drama made us laugh and cry. We really fell in love with the characters. My daughter loves that she is now able to read the subtitles with us as well. I would love to get ahold of the Manga for this story.

The 31 Day Photo & Prompt Challenge - Day 2

2011-03-02T14:12:00.001-05:00

Day 2: The person (or people) that make your world go around.
There is no way I can just chose a person. So here are a few.

My Angel

My son, David and his son, Ethan.

My daughter, Annaleah (with Ethan)

My nieces who spend most of their vacations with us.
Annaleah, Kaitlyn, and Jade

I can't leave out my parents. I don't see them much these days but they are always in my heart.

March Madness 2 – Seven days to yourself

2011-03-02T11:28:00.001-05:00

What would you do if you had 7 days alone. Completely to yourself.

The 31 Day Photo & Prompt Challenge

2011-03-02T07:30:00.001-05:00

I decided to participate in The 31 Day Photo and Prompt Challenge at It’s Gravy, Baby! I have seen this around Facebook, but have not joined in. My niece started doing it while she was here. I think it is an awesome idea to do it in a blog. If you would like to join in, Click the button below. All the prompts are at the site.

Day 1:
A photo of yourself with 10 facts

I hate pictures of myself.
I am a 42 year old mom of 2 and Meemaw to 2.
When I was 10 I changed my name spelling to Lynda because I loved Lynda Carter. (We even share the same birthday)
I started teaching sunday school for preschoolers at 15.
I can not imagine never having kids in my life. It would be boring!
My dream as a child was to teach, open a daycare center or become a foster mother. I did run a family daycare in my home for 5 years.
I am extremely shy in person, at social gatherings prefer to hang out with the younger kids.
I have a phobia of driving.
I was a single mom for almost 11 years.
I avoided all guys til I met my persistent hubby 17 years ago. (married 11 years now).

March Madness Day 1

2011-03-01T14:13:00.000-05:00

Posted my first video for the March Vlogging Madness today. It was not very well done. I have this huge pounding headache. I grabbed Ethan and had him vlog with me. Quick easy vlog, although speaking seemed to be difficult for me. I had no clue that there was 38 days in March. LOL. Oh Well. Tomorrow will be better.

March Vlogging Madness

2011-03-01T10:26:00.001-05:00

Jendi over at Simple Vlogging Tips is hosting a March Vlogging Madness with Shynea of Penny Pinching Diva.

I decided to join in. I have no clue what I will be vlogging about at this point, but this should be fun!

To Join in…

The goal is to post a vlog every day from March 1 – March 31, 2011.

The vlog can cover any topic and be recorded on any type of camera. Editing optional.
You may pre-record a video within the week, but it must be published on it’s own day. Example: posting 2 on Friday does not get you off the hook for Saturday. Recording 2 on Friday and publishing one on Friday and one on Saturday is allowed.
To join in just link up on Jendi’s site. You can link up at Shynea’s site too if you want.

Mingling with the girls.. again

2011-02-28T09:59:00.001-05:00

The girls have been here all week. They left yesterday and we decided to do a mingle together before they left.

1. Do you have Spring flowers (or any flowers) blooming in your yard right now? Show us!
2. Are you watching American Idol this season? What do you think about the new judges?
3. Tell us something that happened to you last week!

Busy week with the girls

2011-02-24T07:44:00.001-05:00

The nieces are here this week and we have been busy. I am so thankfully that they still enjoy coming. My house is a total disaster. I am trying to remember that this is fun time. Not the time to be anal about the house. I want to enjoy every moment I can with them.

I want to start being diligent in updating my blog. I have been failing drastically in this area. I also need to get back to updating the food journal.

I was finally able to get a new phone. My samsung propel died when Angel was admitted into the hospital. A friend was kind enough to give me her husband’s old phone. I had a bit of fun using his Blackberry. However, the trackball was giving me serious issues about moving to the right. The phone also froze up quite a bit. However an upgrade to the phone I wanted was 150.00. No way! My husband was able to get it for 30.00 because he is the primary phone.

I got this random idea a bit over a week ago to check again. The price went on special for 39.99! I snagged that as soon as I could make up my mind. LOL. Of course there was alot of time spent weighing the pros and cons. Money is an issue here. I finally came to the conclusion that if Angel ended up back in the hospital.. I need to have a good working phone. So decision made.

I have been having a blast checking it out. It is an HTC Aria. (I know, we are so behind.. lol). Right now I have been researching on how to get the best use out of it.. Looking up tips on how to save battery usage, etc. I just love research.. yes I am a nut. :)

Mingling on a Tuesday!

2011-02-22T14:23:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile. I decided I needed to get back to the mingles even though I am late. The nieces are here.. gonna be a crazy week of fun!

1. How do you compile grocery list – by an inventory, or writing things as you run out?
2. At what age do you plan on retiring (or your spouse retiring)?
3. What do you plan on doing when you retire?

A Very Late Update...

2011-02-08T19:36:00.003-05:00

Decided to vlog instead of typing.

Overwhelmed….

2011-01-24T12:12:00.001-05:00

At the moment.. there are no words. Just overwhelmed.

Angel Update

2011-01-19T08:01:00.001-05:00

Angel got a call from his doctor as we were leaving for dance class.

It is not Wilson's Disease
They found antibody's that suggest celiac
They want to do a biopsy on the intestines
During the biopsy they will also repeat the banding of the esophagus
His meld score is sticking around 17 (good score is 5-15 which means good outcome for a transplant.)
17 is a gray area
They are talking about pushing for a liver transplant as soon as celiac is confirmed.