Delirious
That is what they tell me you will have for a while. I was doing ok with keeping you calm for a bit, until yesterday. You started off coughing and getting a bit anxious. I stroked your beard and hair for a bit.. but each time you settled you would get more anxious from the last. The nurse was busy so I was alone. Your heart rate was past 130 which is like really bad. Someone finally came in to help. You thrashed your head back and forth so viciously the trach tube came undone and all I hear was a 'whoshhh' sound. They gave you hadol which calms you down but doesn't sedate you. However, you looked uncomfortable and they had to move you. Then they had to suction you. You woke extremely agitated that they finally ended up giving you propofol, which knocks you out.
This was so upsetting that I had to just leave for a few hours. Steph came later and we went to Walmart. You would be proud of me.. I bought sneakers. Although I didn't want to pay alot so they are cheap. The old ones don't seem like they will hold on much longer.
On the ride to Walmart we saw a drug deal happening, someone thrown onto a police car and being cuffed. A few arrests, gangs, almost got sideswept a few times, including in the parking lot. Talk about a vicious town! Poor Steph. I don't think we will be leaving the hospital grounds next time.
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